A precursor to say that I already struggle with my relationship with religion. I am also a mental health champion. I have suffered from thoughts about not being alive since 8. I am now 30. Please note I have tried to seek refuge in God but this has not been successful. This Ramadan 2020 I have even been struggling with my fast. I am not interested in doing it. Yet, I am doing it without having the nerve to intentionally break it. Hence, I believe it to be related to my mental well being. I am here for information and not advice.
Thanks in advance.