Salam-Waleikum-Warahmatullahi-Wabarakatuhu, I am a 16 year old boy, born and raised Muslim, I don't know who to talk to about this thing. Alhamdulillah I have been doing everything to do fewer sins and to become a good person for a few months now. But I have a problem that has plagued me since I was 11-12 years old and that is a very serious problem in my opinion and it is a problem that I still do today, the problem is that I can't get away from pornography and masturbation and from thinking about haram things 😔, every time I do it I regret it but I only understand it after I have done a haram thing and then ask forgiveness from Allah (Subhana-Wa-Tahala) but after I crash again in this Shaytan trap and I'm afraid that Allah (Subhana-Wa-Thala) don't forgive me anymore. I don't know what to do to quit anymore, I'm fasting on Mondays and Thursdays like the Sunnah of the Prophet (Muhammad Sallelahi-Alehi-Wa-Sallam) not always but I'm trying every week, I try to pray more, I try to train / physical exercise to distract myself, I try to detach myself from the phone / computer but I can't stop 😫, I barely managed to do only one week without masturbation and pornography but then I did it again 😓. It is something that bothers me because I am doing zina (I look and listen) which is one of the most sinful things in Islam😣. What should I do, or would you have any advice to give me about it? 😥 Please anyone can answer me? Jazak Allahu Khairan,
This means that you're addicted. One of the best ways to deal with an addiction is by doing things in moderation. For example, if you masturbate today then don't masturbate until after 4 days. Do this for one month or until you're comfortable masturbating within a 4-day interval. The next month you should then extend it to a week interval and so on. You should understand that before you masturbate there has to be an impulse that your brain senses and then compels you to watch pornography and masturbate. Impulses such as being alone or idle, watching an inappropriate movie scene etc. So you should avoid all forms of impulses that might make you masturbate. Also another thing you need to understand is that most women these days come out half naked, so you need to lower your gaze as much as you can. Also, some women may seem very beautiful in pictures or when they come out but in reality they aren't( without all the make up, filters etc), some might even be repulsive. So have this in mind beforehand. Never let the sexuality of a human being make you to see them as anything other than a human being. Women sweat, smell when they sweat, urinate, excrete faeces just like men do, they even menstruate and you don't! So whenever you feel like masturbating always ask yourself this: does a human being want to take advantage of me because of their sexuality? Man is a small piece of metal while a woman is a big magnet and when a magnet is not covered by its magnetic cover(magnetic shield) it attracts metals that are around it whether or not they want to be attracted by it. Lastly observe a 2-rakah prayer whenever you masturbate. May Allah guide you and give you the willpower to stop this behavior. P.S I'm not in anyway encouraging masturbation!
I agree with the previous answer. And Ramadan is coming, so I would say get actively involved. Until then, here is some advice.
Block all the sites that you visit that cause such things. A quick Google search should help you with that.
Try to find an interesting hobby. Like maybe bike riding, playing sports and more.
Due to COVID-19, many masjid are closed, so see if you can lead the prayers at home with you're family. That way you will fell guilt if you are the imam of the house and doing such things.
Maybe try to memorize the Qur'an or read more of it.
Create a personal contract to you're self and sign it.
Create a calander and mark the days you do such things and days you don't. Set personal goals for like 1 month or whatever suits you the most.
These tips are just some that i have used towards being rid of many bad habits i used to have.
Wlaikum Slam ... Brother Exactly same i swear exactly same i have this problem iam of 15 and a half and from 12 and a half iam doing that i wanna stop it but after few days again i masturbate i repent to God soo many times almost to be honest 30 to 40 times that God plz plz forgive me accept my repentance i will not do this and after few days i again do that and from one month iam thinking that now God will not accept my repentance anymore . So plz Listen what we have do first of all Allah is Extremely Merciful never think that Allah will not accept your repentance as well as mine cause shaitan whisper on us that now God will not accept your repentance and for that reason we again fall into shaitan traps and again we masturbate and so concentrate on islam so much so then you must think so much before masturbate coz when imaan increases in your heart then your urges will automatically be going down and stop masturbating slowly slowly to get rid of masturbation coz u nor i can stop masturbating suddenly and whenever your urges will be increasing suddenly go to bathroom and then go to walk outside so then your urges will go down and must remember that God is Seeing you everytime if your brother or sister or family member sitting right beside you then for u it is impossible to masturbate but allah is invisible but He is seeing i know it’s hard but it is not Impossible Remember that Shaytan Only whisper on us only whisper it is us we follow shaytan and do the evil things Remember Always Remember that in doing something evil shaytan has no right he only and only whisper he has no any more authority then that brother i know it’s hard i know iam also suffering but plz plz Don’t Give up Plz
Watch this playlist brother. May Allah help you. And whenever you feel the urges,say, A'oodu billahi minash shaytonir rajem. "I seek refuge in Allah from the shaytan the outcast".
Asalimualikum Brother Our Lord is Allah Our Guide is Muhammed S۔A۔W Allah's Peace and blessings be upon him Ameen. Our book is Quran Al kareem. These three things are our only hope for Success Iam not qualified to answers this This is just my advice . Iam not a knowledgeable person. Make Dua Continuously To your Lord. Tell Allah your problem let tears flow from your eyes don't leave from your Dua unless you feel you have achieved the Favour of your Lord . Only he can help you . That is what Allah want from all of us To come back to him. Repent and be committed never to repeat . Always lower your gaze . Always gaured your thoughts. Say (Awuzu billahi minus shaitani Rageem) Don't watch YOUTUBE Let it not be in your life. Or any other social network to minimum . Ban Youtube! Stay away from your phone as much as possible . Follow Quran & the Advices of our beloved prophet Mohammad S.A.W Allah's Peace and blessings be upon him . Ameen It is possible 100% . Trust me. Please make Dua for me also I need your Dua also Brother.
Assalamoalaikum Brother. Alhamdulillah, it’s a positive first step to accept your addiction and seek affirmative help to get over it! May Allah reward you abundantly for this!!
While dhikr, repentance, nawafil do help... I suggest something from practical rehab guidelines - “Find your trigger”
When is it that your mind craves for a sexual release? Is it some person, some song, some place ? Check your rest of day and habits. For example, I used to get very strong urges to smoke, even months after quitting successfully, when I was anxious. Simple momentary anxiety owing to missing deadlines, an upcoming customer meeting would give very very strong urge. Alhamdulillah, I could control it through planning my tasks better. See if you have any such behavioral trigger.
Other behavioral tricks:
- be around good people
- in case you are doing remote classes, as most of the schools are COVID stuck, focus on the study plan more. Don’t let your mind wander during such sessions. How you do this- is by taking extensive notes, being constantly on video etc
- find hobbies that keep your engrossed. Create something that will keep your passive mind engaged... like paint, write journal, etc
Seek help from Allah! He alone has the power to change hearts! Be sincere. May Allah help you and our youth! Ameen