I have an overdemanding, selfish, abusive(physically and verbally), oppressive, bossy, fornicating and unreligious father. He is a Muslim but doesn't even know how to pray properly. He doesn't fully believe in Islam, infact he is advocating for the cancellation of Ramadan because of the ravaging pandemic (Covid-19). He has physically and emotionally abused my mother several times even during pregnancy. He only pays my school fees and feeds me, but doesn't even clothe me, my mother and my sisters( I have two elder sisters). He has physically abused me in such a way it almost cost me my left eye while I was observing my ishaa prayer and lied against me to cover his tracks. Luckily I am now in the university and away from this oppression. But during this period of the ravaging pandemic, Covid-19, it is unbearable. I have become my father's dry cleaner and servant. I iron about 2 pairs of well starched clothes every morning alongside other demanding chores, and while attending to those chores he keeps on calling me to do petty things for him like to pass him the remote that is lying on the same couch he sits on or to pick a pen he was using that fell off his hand, and he has no abnormalities and he is not too old but just lazy. On the average he sends me on errands twice every minute. If he stays at home for the whole day I wouldn't be able to do anything for myself. He has once discouraged me from reading the Quran as a young boy. He has brought a woman to sleep with in the absence of my mother and impregnated her before he married her. He embarrasses the family with his abnormal behavior. My major questions are; 1. Am I permitted to abandon my father once I finish my education as he is capable of causing me damage. 2. Should my mother divorce him. 3. Am I really supposed to answer to all his incessant and unnecessary calls. Also I'd be glad if the limits of obeying parents are well specified.
1 Answer
In many verses, the Holy Qur'an, in addition to advising obedience to parents, also warns that obedience to parents is conditional on non-contradiction with God's command, and if obedience to parents leads to renunciation of servitude, this Obedience is not necessary. God Almighty, before asking for obedience from parents, calls for worship and obedience to Himself and practice the principle of monotheism. God has the highest right over us, which takes precedence over all other rights. Parental satisfaction and friendship are highly recommended; But this should not lead to blind and irrational obedience, so that we even accept their blasphemous invitation. O you who believe! You should not love your fathers and brothers, if they prefer disbelief to faith, and whoever of you loves them, he is surely a wrongdoer. O you who have believed, do not take your fathers and your brothers as allies, if they like unbelief over faith and those who are among them are among the believers.
