Having friends of the opposite gender is haram on the basis that it may lead to Zina. However, what if the interactions one has is in public with lots of people or in a school environment where there is no place for intimacy and talking may also be done in groups etc (if the talking is not anything sexual/lust)?
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Talking to teachers or other students etc is common. I personally also interact with females and communicate without any sense of lust or without any sexual desire. So I was wondering if it is haram because if there is no attraction or intimacy at all it is just like communicating to a male friend.– user36388Mar 17, 2020 at 13:37
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It depends on the situation. One should generally avoid talking with a nin-mahram woman, unless it is unavailable or with good intention (eg asking a scholar, helping someone in need). The scholars tend to advise against it because even though there be no intention of list, it can unintentionally lead to zina.– moinudinMar 18, 2020 at 9:45
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How can you unintentionally have sex? You have it because there is some sort of lust and if when talking there is no list or no form of romance then it is ok. Talking to the opposite engender is common here and I witness it on a daily basis as well as engage in it but I do so with no intention/form of lust/intimacy. If there was any I would walk away and if there is any sexual communication I would end the conversation at that. One must be well aware of their own abilities in suppressing their urges and if they can’t then I’d understand why contact or communication with non Nathan’s is haram.– user36388Mar 18, 2020 at 14:12
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1If anyone has an answer even if it’s years late please post it I still want to know.– user36388Mar 18, 2020 at 14:33
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1 Answer
Having friends of the opposite gender is haram on the basis that it may lead to Zina. -
This sentence is partly wrong. It is not due to the basis that it may lead to Zina, rather it is Zina. Take the following Hadith;
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.
As you can see here, speaking is also Zina. As a result, there remains no scope for you to say that oh, i do not have any ill intention so i can speak. Rather it is Haram in Islam.
Allah says, ""And do not go near zina. It is indeed a shameful and an evil path."
(Surah Al Isrâ’, Ayah 32)
Here, Allah didn't say to not commit zina, rather ordered not to even go near it.
An analogy of what this ayat means:
let us consider that you are the best circus shower of the country and you can actually do the rope trick without falling. that is, you can walk over only a rope without falling down losing balance. Then, is it permissible for you to put your life in danger walking through the rooftops ceiling considering the fact that you have 0.00001% possibility of falling down? NO! Islam does not allow oneself to endanger his own life by any means.
Similar to that, you cannot talk with opposite sex or interact with them, even though you are a saint. Watch this powerful video to understand this matter more clearly:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKeyTPv7xfc
But, If the situation is like you need to interact with them for important works or job regarding situation, it is permissible, but then also in front of other people. But as you said, hanging out or talking without any need and just for passing the time is completely forbidden. Do not twist this any more.
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1The Hadith you mentioned above does not clarify in what manner the talking is haram it could be mentioning the use of profanity or in this case lust. Yes we are also told not to go near Zina but you are presuming that these forms of communication create a sense of intimacy/lust in a way that will lead to a sexual relationship which is incorrect. As I previously mentioned I am aware of my intent and am aware of what I can control if there was any sense of lust then I would leave however talking about homework or what’s going on the news doesn’t create intimacy especially when in groups– user36388Mar 20, 2020 at 14:51
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Having friends of the opposite gender is haram on the basis that it may lead to Zina but what will cause a loving/sexual relationship is the moments/acts of list within this relationship but it won’t lead to Zina if there aren’t any. Anyone who fears that he may commit it or feels any sense of lust must stop the conversation and try to avoid said person but what if there is no intimacy/desire it’s wrong to say that there is when you are unaware of my intentions. Scholars say having friends of the opposite gender is haram because it may lead to Zina (due to intimacy)– user36388Mar 20, 2020 at 14:54