What does Islam say when dealing with stupid and arrogant parents?

Question

Not every parents are inclined towards truth, some of them are just following their desires, no reasoning, and always trying to justify their act on us (their kids) despite some of them claim to be a Muslim (one who surrenders to Allah). What does Allah or the prophets say when dealing with those parents?

Answer 1

Islam requires showing good treatment, humility and utmost respect towards parents.

وقضى ربك ألا تعبدوا إلا إياه وبالوالدين إحسانا إما يبلغن عندك الكبر أحدهما أو كلاهما فلا تقل لهما أف ولا تنهرهما وقل لهما قولا كريما واخفض لهما جناح الذل من الرحمة وقل رب ارحمهما كما ربياني صغيرا

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

^{— Quran 17:23-24}

These teachings are general and unconditional, it does not matter if the parents are stupid, arrogant, sinners or even if they are disbelievers as the texts make no exception.

Regarding disbelieving parents, the Quran says:

وإن جاهداك على أن تشرك بي ما ليس لك به علم فلا تطعهما وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفا واتبع سبيل من أناب إلي

But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance].

^{— Quran 31:15}

This implies that goodness to parents is required even if they are disbelievers, although a portion of that good treatment (obedience) is prohibited only when it is sinful.

Similarly the following hadith is relevant:

عن أسماء بنت أبي بكر رضي الله عنهما، قالت: قدمت علي أمي وهي مشركة في عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، فاستفتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، قلت: وهي راغبة، أفأصل أمي؟ قال: نعم صلي أمك

Narrated Asma' bint Abu Bakr:

My mother came to me during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and she was a pagan. I said to Allah's Apostle (seeking his verdict), "My mother has come to me and she desires to receive a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her?"

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Yes, keep good relation with her."

^{— Bukhari}

This is relevant regarding the etiquette of admonishing parents.

Answer 2

Assalamu alaikum my dear brother,. Our prophet Mohammed may peace be upon him has said to follow every order of your parents and obey their instructions even if they ask you to leave your wife and sacrifice all of your wealth. I know sometimes we feel that our parents are forcing themselves and some irrelevant things on us and they are irritating us. In that situation it is suggested to over them and be patient. Because patience is one of the strongest qualities of the strong imaan. it is just like a test going on with you how far will you follow the orders of Allah and his prophet Muhammad may peace be upon him. Just stay patient and make Dua to Allah for solving your problems. There is no doubt allahu tala has such a huge Mercy that he won't send any one back empty handed until and unless you have lost faith in him. (A Special suggestion: practice to do 2 rakat of Sunnah of fazr salah in home then go to masjid for farz salah . Inshallah it will create peaceful atmosphere at your home) Allah knows best