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Whenever I listen beautiful recitation of Quran in YouTube. I always have the thought of wanting to die or kill myself not becouse I'm unhappy but it's because I'm almost ecstatic or euphoria from listening it. It's like I want to die and meet Allah.

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No is not normal, If you die in that state you are going to be punished and you are not going to meet Allah for your judgement in a good way, but in a manner that make Allah angry.

If you read the Qur'aan and UNDERSTAND a verset that make you happy you should feel very grateful for what made you happy and at the same time reflecting on what you are given to be ashamed of your shortcomings because people are imperfect and weak in their nature.

Suicide for any reason is a mojor sin. Islam teach us that there is nothing in this world that can justify such a terrible injustice (against yourself).

the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself will be throwing himself down in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself will be sipping it in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron will have that iron in his hand, thrusting it into his belly in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5442) and Muslim (109),

You were created with a goal in life, you were not created to live eat sleep and then when you get tired and thinking only to yourself in your ignorance throw the life (that Allah donated you) away with the excuse of meeting Him. Allah has given a single direction to human life. worship and He has place meanings, conditions and limits for your good, to teach you and guide you, this guide in this times is the Qur'aan.

I think you should study the history of the prophets more calmly and understand the true meanings and teachings of the Qur'aan, which is first and foremost a guide that teaches us how to live life to achieve true success in this life and in the life after death.

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