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Assalamu'alaikum

Dear brothers n sisters in Islam. I am a 23 years old male, and currently in a serious relationship with a girl (my classmate).

One day, while we were hanging out, it is our own activity to play with each other's smartphone (just for fun generally, to check for any suspicious messages from opposite genders' friends and to make other jealous, joke around etc.). We are very strict in term of maintaining distance between us as well as other restrictions because we fear that our relationship might not be blessed the Almighty God (God forbids), so while playing each other's smartphone, if for example I want to open a certain apps on her phone, I would ask her permission first (in fear that there might be pics of her or her female family members exposing their aurah and whatnot).

I was scrolling through her Telegram chat n there was a chat between her and her female bestfriend, I asked her if I can open and read their conversation, she said no problem. Thing is, she might forget this, but upon scrolling through their conversation, I saw a glimpse of her pic without scarf, so for a split second I saw her aurah : her hair.

I frozed and was extremely scared , but I covered it up because if she finds out, she might be extremely mad at me and it'll probably ruin our relationship with marriage goal. After that incident, I felt very disgusted with myself and I can tell that I just made a huge huge mistake, though unintentionally, but it was a very big sin that I committed that I almost threw up alone in my car when I remember the incidence.

My question is, what should I do? Did I just commit a big sin and should I tell my fiancé regarding the matter?

Thank you very much in advance dear brothers and sisters , very sorry for the long explanation.....

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  • Please put white space into your text to make it easier to read. Dec 29 '19 at 23:08
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It was unintentional so it is not that big of a deal, just ask for forgiveness and ensure it does not happen again. Even if you tell her she should not be mad as it was an accident. But please understand this brother, until the day you you get married she is still a stranger like any other woman. You should not be so close and personal with her like you are hanging out, flirting and playing with her phone etc. You should only interact when necessary. If that is hard, do Nikah now so your relationship becomes lawful and then hold the celebration whenever it suits you both.

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There is no sin upon you for seeing her hair if you are interested in marrying her. In Islam it is permissible for a suitor to look at hair of the girl, with or without her permission. The Holy Prophet (pbuh) said : “When one of you proposes to a woman for marriage, then if he is able to look at those (parts of) woman which induces one towards nikah, he should do so.” (Musnad Ahmad).

According to the majority of fuqahaa, the suitor is permitted to see what one can see of a Mahram woman i.e her hair, face, neck, calves etc.

The suitor can look at a woman without her permission and consent. Jarir ibn ‘Abdullah said concerning his wife, “(Before marriage) I used to hide under a tree to see her.” Al-Mughira ibn Shu’bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allah’s Messenger (peace be on him) asked me whether I had looked at her. When I replied that I had not, he said ‘Then look at her, for it may produce love between you.’ I went to her parents and informed them of the Prophet’s advice. They seemed to disapprove of the idea. Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said, ‘If the Prophet (peace be on him) has told you to look at me, then look.’ I looked at her, and subsequently I married her. (Reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban, and Darimi).

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