1

I wasted my youth. I am 35 years old. I had a toxic relationship with my parents, especially my mother. My career never started and am still looking for a fresh start and finding it humiliating at my age.

What does the Quran says about wasting your youth? Is redemption possible?

Thanks.

  • Salam and welcome to IslamSE the Q&A site about Islam. These kinds of questions are hardly on-topic as they attract subjective answers. I'd like to tell remind you that Allah says: "Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves."13:11 once you know what went or goes wrong you should act upon it and start your life from new. Many great scholars had a life before their career as scholars like abu Hanifa and ibn 'Abdussalam both started their studies in a late age and became great scholars. – Medi1Saif Oct 30 '19 at 11:38
0

Yes, You can start fresh. You just need to let go of your pride and ask for forgiveness from Allah and also your parents. It's never too late to go the right path.

0

May peace be upon you.

If you sincerely look for guidance from Allah, then Allah will give guidance to those who seek for them. I'm not sure if there are any verse specifically mentioning wasted youth in the Quran but Surah Al-Asr is about Time. If Time is not being used for doing the righteous things, then we are in loss. There are a few comments in Wikipedia about this Surah which I think it's a good read.

My suggestion is to find out what made your relationship with your mother toxic. Then start to your path of redemption from there.

I wish you all the best and may Allah give you guidance.

A redemption is always possible in Islam as long as you're still alive Surah Al-Baqarah verse 1 to 5.

0

Your youth is not yet over! It is narrated that in Paradise, everyone will be around 33 years old.

It was narrated from Mu’aadh ibn Jabal that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The people of Paradise will enter Paradise hairless, beardless with their eyes anointed with kohl, aged thirty or thirty-three years.”

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2545. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7928

It is never too late to start making a difference. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) received revelation from God when he was 40 years old, and delivered the Quran as messenger of God in the 23 years that followed. I encourage you to read his biography; his life is an example and inspiration for all of mankind.

Regarding your humiliation over your current state, fret not, this humiliation is only temporary. It is ultimately decided by God the level of wealth and success you will attain in this life, though as Muslims we pray to god to increase us, and God willing, we shall be increased. It is important to understand the time we spend on this world compared to the time we spend in the hereafter is like that of a drop of water versus the entire ocean. Know that all the pain and pleasure of this world are but small pains and small pleasures compared to what awaits us in the hereafter. It is narrated...

Anas b. Malik reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said that one amongst the denizens of Hell who had led a life of ease and plenty amongst the people of the world would be made to dip in Fire only once on the Day of Resurrection and then it would be said to him: O, son of Adam, did you find any comfort, did you happen to get any material blessing? He would say: By Allah, no, my Lord.

And then that person from amongst the persons of the world be brought who had led the most miserable life (in the world) from amongst the inmates of Paradise. and he would be made to dip once in Paradise and it would be said to him. O, son of Adam, did you face, any hardship? Or had any distress fallen to your lot? And he would say: By Allah, no, my Lord, never did I face any hardship or experience any distress. (Sahih Muslim 2807)

Just a dip in Paradise or Hellfire will make us forget all of our worldly affairs. Keep this in mind when you are frustrated with your living standard.

If you don't mind me also making mention, I noticed you've posted the same question on other religious stack exchanges. Of course, as a Muslim, I will tell you that Islam is the best choice for you, but I cannot do so without providing some reason...

Prayer

Muslims are ordered to establish prayer 5 times a day, every day. The keyword here is 'establish', which implies creating a sense of routine and the intent of maintaining a permanent state of God-consciousness. We don't remember God every Sunday, or every Saturday, or for 40 days out of the year, or whatever; we are ordered to set aside our worldly affairs 5 times a day, every day to remember and thank God.

  • Morning Prayer. The morning prayer is one of the most difficult prayers for a Muslim to make, but establishing it indirectly discourages a lazy lifestyle. Leaving your warm, cozy, bed, washing up, and praying before the sun even rises every day can be difficult, but the punctuality, perseverance, and discipline you learn from doing so undoubtedly translates to other aspects in life. God is most forgiving and is witness to how many times I have slept through the morning prayer, but the more often I make this prayer on time, the more disciplined I become in other aspects of life.
  • Afternoon prayer. Everyone works hard during the day to make a living for themselves and their family. The afternoon prayer is a reminder for Muslims that this worldly labour is but a means of sustenance for us and that we are just passing through this world before we meet our Lord in the next. I find it extremely calming and relaxing to take time out of the work day to remember God, indeed it is he who will guide me in all my affairs.
  • Late afternoon prayer. After the work day is over, people typically will go home and relax/entertain themselves. Before we do so, it is important that we take some time to pray and remember God again.
  • Sunset prayer. Islam follows a lunar calendar, sunset marks the end of the day. We take time to remember and thank God for seeing us through this day.
  • Evening prayer. This prayer and the morning prayer are among the most difficult to perform, as we are most tired at the very beginning and very end of the day. Taking time to remember and pray to God before bed is a blessing that puts the mind at ease.

I cannot stress how much of a blessing prayer is for the life of a Muslim. When your life revolves around prayer, you have a true understanding of how much time we waste throughout the day. Even on days where I loiter, if I have prayed my 5 prayers on time, I do not feel as if the day is wasted. Something else I would like to note is that the periodic nature of prayer throughout the day discourages drug use, as you should not pray in a state of intoxication/altered state of mind.

Fasting
In the Quran, chapter 2, verse 183. God says...

O you who believe! Observing As-Saum (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqun (the pious, with God-consciousness). (2:183)

During the month of Ramadan, those in good health are commanded to fast with no food, drink, or sexual relations during the day (before the morning prayer until the sunset prayer). You may ask, 'How does not eating or drinking help me remember God?'. I need not mention the physical/health benefits fasting provides, as you can look these up yourself, but fasting as I see it, is a mental state of mind. Eating and drinking is an unalienable action that every human participates in without fail. Most of the time, we eat and drink without giving it a second thought. By forbidding that which is typically allowed, it serves as dramatic change of pace and reminder from God. Humans do not usually respond or take notice of things until it starts affecting them. When we get hungry or thirsty during fasting, it is an internal alarm for us to remember why we are fasting, which is to gain the pleasure and mercy of God.

Some other things in Islam I would like to mention are...

  • Interest is forbidden. Taking, giving, or participating in interest is forbidden in Islam. This is a direct mercy from God, as taking interest can financially ruin people.
  • Alcohol is forbidden. This is a direct mercy from God, as alcohol can ruin your life, and the life of others. I need not explain the evils alcohol can cause.
  • We believe all 6,236 verses in the Quran are the unmodified words of God. The Quran people would read and recite at the time of Muhammed (Peace be upon him) is the same Quran Muslims read in 2019. There are many who are so committed to this book that they will memorize it, word for word. It is through this and the blessing of God that the book has been preserved in its original form 1400 years after its revelation. The beauty of the Quran is its timeless message; anyone can read and find benefit from it. I encourage you to go to quran.com and pick any chapter and begin reading. May God guide you.

Some verses of the Quran that resonate with me...

"For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship]. And to your Lord direct [your] longing." (94:5-8)

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people." (2:286)

I encourage you to visit your local mosque (if you live in any moderately sized town, there should be one at most 15 minutes away, though God is knowing best) and ask more there, there is only so much I can convey through a stack exchange post.

Lastly, I encourage you to make amends with your family. After God, it is your mother and father (your mother especially, it is narrated that Paradise is at the feet of the mother) who deserve your affection the most.

"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.""(17:23-24).

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

If you have any other questions please do not hesitate to reply to this post, though as I previously mentioned, a face to face conversation with someone at your local mosque will do more for you, God willing

God forgive me if I have made any mistakes in my post. Indeed You are the most forgiving of those who forgive. Oh God, please bring this brother or sister to your mercy, indeed you are the most gracious and most merciful.

Amen.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.