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A Hadith says that Abu Bakr has more Iman than the rest of ummah because of purity of heart.

There are plenty of people that want a pure heart but they can't. It is striking that many of the people that have converted to Islam or become practicing Muslims have come from the world of adultery.

In contrast there are plenty of people that haven't committed adultery a single time and sacrificed their entire wealth for the education of their children yet they hate and insult Islam in the most horrible manner. I have seen many cases myself.

My question is: What is the connection of exterior deeds like watching porn, backbiting or good deeds like reading Quran, giving sadaqa, dhikr and the properties of the heart that upon the properties of the heart God will value our deeds on the day of judgment? Sometimes it looks like sins soften your heart.

Example: When you are angry instead of venting your anger towards your parents you commit a much smaller sin through releasing this anger through watching porn. And after watching porn you feel fit for spending the entire day learning about Islam or reading Quran. Otherwise the entire day passes in a bad spiritual situation like anger or dissatisfaction and because of that you cannot learn anything about islam during the entire day and are tempted to commit sins far bigger than watching porn because of the bad spiritual situation of anger and dissatisfaction.

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You're drawing the wrong conclusions, unfortunately.

  • People who convert to Islam do so because of some good within them through which they seek the truth and Allah guides them to Islam, not because of the sins they commit but rather in spite of them. No convert ever attributed sin as the reason for their conversion. They attribute being attracted to the good within Islam.
  • Sins can never soften the heart. They actually cover it until it's tainted and hard.

    Qur'an 83:14 كلا بل ران على قلوبهم ما كانوا يكسبون (Nay! But on their hearts is the Rân (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn).

Ibn Kathir رحمه الله said: “The only thing that blocked their hearts from believing in it is the dark covering cast over it from the many sins and wrong they committed that has covered up their hearts.”

  • For the people you say who never commit adultery and still reject Islam, adultery is not the only sin in the world. There's a long list of sins (arrogance, riba, dishonesty, etc) that people may be engaged in that may be unapparent to you. At the end of the day, they are not sincerely seeking truth [yet] which is the problem.
  • As for your last point... there is no remedy in what is haram. There are halal ways to remedy anger and if a person is choosing the wrong way to do so they may get "some" benefit from it (even alcohol has some benefit according to Allah (ﷻ)) but the harm is greater. Porn is not a remedy either; the harm is greater. So such a person needs to find a Halal outlet through which to vent their anger. Wudu is a great way to cool down.
  • The above (such minor sins) are usually the reason we cannot reach the level of Abu Bakr or any of the Sahabah. They saw the minor sins as destructive whereas we think of them as nothing. Once again, the theme being that sins block us from attaining success.

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