I’m currently 13 years old and a Muslim “female” I really wanted to identify as male ever since I was 10 but I have a very religious family, they thought it was a phase but it wasn’t. I don’t need to get surgery, that’s okay with me. But I wanna start testosterone and be respected, when I was 10 I asked my parents “mom, dad, is being transgender haram? Like if a man transitioned to a woman via surgery. And they said “of course it is haram they are destined to go to hell” and with that I went to my room,my parents think I’m a tomboy so they agree to buy me clothes from the men’s section and let my keep my hair moderately short but I haven’t come out yet and I can’t imagine what they’ll say. I even tried telling my mom I was lesbian when I was 11, at first she was like “oh allah” or like “what did I do??” But after 30 minutes of that she started to tell me that she was like me until she read the Quran. I’m still a Muslim and a “girl” but I know that my parents would accept me eventually regardless of the hadis because I’m their child but to this day I’m still scared because allah will put me in hell and I don’t think it’s worth it but it feels right. So the real question is, am I haram?
you seem like a really smart kid, when I was your age I was not that sharp so good for you ^^.
With that been said, let me tell that in this life there are somethings that we choose and some others where the choice was made for us. For example we don't get to choose our parents, I can be a nice kid but my father is a serial killer for exemple, I might have some big dreams but my parents are so poor so it won't make it easy for me, so should I hate the fact that my parents are poor ? hate them ? leave them and search for a rich family to adopt me or to swith kids? naah it doesn't work like that, I simply should embrace what I have, accept what I am and do me, actually that's kinda the purpose, that's what life is all about, we come to this life just to prepare to the after life, it doesn't matter if I was born poor, rich, male or female, i have to make do with what I have to reach jannaa inchaalah, so first thing try to be cool with the fact that you are a girl, accept, embrace it.
Second point, you should understand that when Allah says that something is haram it is always for a reason, because it brings harm, to you, to someone else, to your entourage or to society in general, (either on short term or long term) otherwise Allah wouldn't deprive us from it and just take it away (that's an important point to keep in mind), like why traveling is not haram? why doing sports or eating apples is not haram? try to think about it
even without islam, lesbians and gays and those other things are already against the laws of nature, for instance if your country locked itself down, can you survive? the answer is probably yes, most people can still do their activities, breed, and keep it that way for generations.
But imagine a country with only lesbians in it, they gonna be the last generation, females need males and males need females, ying and yang.
One last thing, as I said you seems smart, but you are also young, so slow it down, trust me the more you grow the more things will make sense and get clearer, and of course you should check if this idea is the result of social media influence and some wrong orientations. You might hate this but probably your parents are right and it's just a phase, or maybe you are just overthinking about it because I happen to know many girls (older than you of course 24 26) who said they wished they could be boys..... waaaait a second I don't mean ftm lol, we were joking about few things that I can do while they can't (ignoring the things that they can do while I cant hhh) and they really said that they envy us for that and they wish they could do that etc, but they are happy and proud of being heterosexual female, so as I said take it easy, slow it down, ftm IS haram, but YOU are not haram, you're still have a lot to figure out, and a lot to understand. Sorry I talked a lot, hope it hepled.