I heard something along the lines of you should treat your daughters better than your sons. Is this true or do we treat both children equally?

  • Also please try to include hadiths or Quran verses about equality or if we should actually treat one better. – user32715 Jul 7 '19 at 15:34
  • There are ahadith that recommend us educating daughters as doing this well may be rewarded by Jannah. It might be a recommendation that shows that daughters against the view in Jahiliya are not a bad gift. – Medi1Saif Jul 7 '19 at 16:15

مَنْ دَخَلَ السُّوقَ فَاشْتُرِیَ تُحْفَهً فَحَمَلَهَا الی عِیَالِهِ کان کحامل صَدَقَهَ الی قَوْمٍ مَحَاوِیجَ ولیبدا بالاناث قَبْلَ الذکور فَانٍ مَنْ فَرَّحَ ابْنَتَهُ فکانما أَعْتَقَ رَقَبَهً مِنْ وُلْدِ اسماعیل وَ مَنْ أَقَرَّ بِعَیْنِ &ابْنٍ فکانما بکی مِنْ خَشْیَهِ اللَّهِ وَ مَنْ بکی مِنْ خَشْیَهِ اللَّهِ ادْخُلْهُ اللَّهُ جَنَّاتِ النَّعِیمِ ؛

«وسائل الشیعه، ج‏لد ۱۵، ص‏فحه۲۲۷»

Whoever who enters the market and buys gifts for his family, is like one who gives charity to the poor. He should give his daughter's gift before his sons. As one who brings happiness to his daughter is like who frees a slave of Ismael's children. And whoever who brings joy to his son, is like who cries from Allah's magnificence. One who cries as such, Allah will enter him into bountiful heavens.

I've also read another narration, but I wasn't able to find it. I'll try to update my answer later.

It was that there shouldn't be any different treatment* with your children, but if there was then I would say greet your daughters before your sons.

Note: This doesn't mean to treat your sons and girls virtually the same. Just that while boys and girls are inherently different, don't treat one of them better than the other.

So not better, just attend to them faster/sooner. Based on the verbiage of the narrations this is on a very minute level.


Ibn Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Treat your children equally regarding gifts. If I were to favor anyone, I would have favored women.”

In another narration, the Prophet said, “If I were to prefer anyone, I would have preferred women over men.”

Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá 11092

Grade: Hasan (fair) according to Ibn Hajar

عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ سَوُّوا بَيْنَ أَوْلادِكُمْ فِي الْعَطِيَّةِ فَلَوْ كُنْتُ مُفَضِّلا أَحَدًا لَفَضَّلْتُ النِّسَاءَ

وفي رواية أخرى قال وَلَوْ كُنْت مُؤْثِرًا لِأَحَدٍ لَآثَرْتُ النِّسَاءَ عَلَى الرِّجَالِ

11092 السنن الكبرى للبيهقي كتاب الإجارة باب ما جاء في تفسير العمرى والرقبى

5/253 المحدث ابن حجر العسقلاني خلاصة حكم المحدث إسناده حسن في فتح الباري لابن حجر

Disclaimer: As with all my answers, I am not giving a fatwa. I share what I know of Islamic scripture, historical events and words of scholars, and translations of them, and sometimes my opinion, and they may or may not be the correct answer to the question, based on whether or not I interpreted them correctly as being relevant. Scriptural texts posted in English are a translation from the original Arabic and may not encompass the full meaning of the original.

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