I am a 23 years old Muslim boy. I have chosen a girl, almost same age as mine form the same University I graduating. I have talked with her several times, passed some times walking in street. I finally choose her to be my life partner. Then I talked to my family about her and both of our family are agreed to our marriage. But its not happening now because I am graduating in 7 months and after the graduation I can marry her. But the family arranged an engagement, we are engaged now. She now believes that I am her husband and I also believe that she is my wife.

What I am asking is, what should we do now? Should we be act as real husband and wife?
Or should we be like separate boy and girl where if I go physical it will become 'jinah'?
What is the marriage according to islam?

  • 1
    Salam and welcome to IslamSE the Q&A site about Islam. To learn more about our site and our model consider taking the tour and checking our help center. As to your inquiry what makes both of you think that you are husband and wife?
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Apr 10, 2019 at 5:04
  • Well, it's like we act like we are since It's final and only a matter of time if Allah wants. She cares about me very much, so do I. Like from our mind we are Married.
    – Md Rahman
    Commented Apr 10, 2019 at 6:03

1 Answer 1


As long as you are not legally married both of you are foreigners. By an engagement in Islam all privileges that you have simply are that basically it is makruh for any other male to ask this girls hand for marriage (Some evidences are linked in What should I do about prior attempts at seeking relationships and the effect it has with my current fiancé?).
So all you actually are is fiancées not husband and wife! And you are not allowed to be alone in a room and should always meet in presence of a mahram of the lady, but you may for example be allowed to see your fiancée without hijab. Therefore any physical contact is haram.

As for the marriage there are a few things that must be fulfilled which are either explained or linked in Is a marriage without a written contract and a late dowry valid? among them is the offer and acceptance the presence of the guardian of the lady and two trustworthy witnesses that can identify both the to be husband and to be wife. And the guardian (waly) should give an offer to the groom "I marry so-and-soto you" and the groom should accept it in fromt of these witnesses. A mahr should be named (but must not).

Also note that as long as your wife (assuming you got married) lives at her parents house her father is her guardian so she has to obey him in first place (See Can you and your spouse stay at their own parents place right after nikah?)

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