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As-Salamu alaikum brothers and sisters, I have a Muslim classmate that would everyday pick on me. If I speak to him he will mock me or do other mean things, and in class he humiliates me and make others laugh at me even when it isn't funny. Even in the lunch hall he'd play with the food and make tabzeer. And when I tell him to stop, he just ignores or mocks me. At this point, is it permissible for me to abandon him? If I don't he will continue doing haram things, but Allah knows best. Edit: I'm not asking for interpersonal help, I'm just asking if it's halal to abandon a Muslim, because there was a Hadith that forbids, but in this case I'm abandoning a Muslim to stop him from doing haram.

closed as off-topic by UmH, Sassir, goldPseudo Feb 13 at 22:26

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  • what is a tabzeer, also has this person ever thrown something at you or hit you in anyway. – Asan Ramzan Feb 11 at 21:41
  • Yes, both hit and thrown. And tabzeer is wastage of materials. – thatone dodobird Feb 12 at 16:15
  • I ansewered this but would like to know if you think this person would completely stop if you abandoned him. the way you describe him it does not seem like it – Asan Ramzan Feb 12 at 22:21
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    As-written, this really appears to be an interpersonal skills issue rather than anything to do with the topic of Islam. I am closing this for now; I recommend either focussing the question so it's clearly on topic here, or posting over at interpersonal.stackexchange.com . – goldPseudo Feb 13 at 22:26
  • goldPseuso brother or sister you misunderstood, I was asking if it was HALAL for me to abandon another Muslim. Because I heard of a Hadith that forbids us from abandoning a Muslim for more than three days. But I've been told that's it's haram to stay in bad company. Sorry for lack of clarity, I'll edit my question in shaa Allah. – thatone dodobird Feb 14 at 17:59
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In the name of God, the Beneficent, the Most Just

All praise and thanks are due to God, the Lord of the worlds. We cannot find words to praise Him, as He only sees fit how laudation should be addressed to Him. We seek refuge in God from the evils within ourselves and the evils of our bad deeds. Whosoever God guides will never be led astray, and whosoever He leads astray will never find guidance. We bear witness that there is no god but God, the One without any associate, and We bear witness that Muhammad is His Messenger and bondman, peace and blessings be upon him, his kith and kin, his Companions and all those who follow their guidance until the Day of Judgment.


Your statement: "I have a Muslim classmate that would everyday pick on me. If I speak to him he will mock me or do other mean things, and in class he humiliates me and make others laugh at me even when it isn't funny. Even in the lunch hall he'd play with the food and make tabzeer. And when I tell him to stop, he just ignores or mocks me. At this point, is it permissible for me to abandon him? If I don't he will continue doing haram things, but Allah knows best."

Answer: I'm sorry to hear this. Have you tried to talk to him and ask him why is she doing this to you? Have you tried to ask teacher's help for this? If no, you may give a try, if non it worked as you hoped, then I got some tips for such annoying people.

How to deal with annoying people?

Unfortunately, the more I find myself feeling negative and angry, the more irritated I get with every jerk I encounter. Then I don’t extend warm and welcoming energy to the other people around me either.

The world is quickly filling with annoying and annoyed people. Would you like to help put a stop to this vicious cycle? Here are seven tips for preserving your peace of mind when you encounter insensitive and rude people:

  1. Accept that being quiet does not mean being weak. You don’t always need to stand up for yourself especially if there is nothing you can do about a petty situation. Pick your battles wisely. Fighting the good fight needs more of your energy than the minor conflicts.

  2. Consider how silencing your reaction might shift the mind of the difficult person. Often people who react negatively regret their behavior when they calm down. But if you counter with negative energy, they are more likely stick to their story and justify their jerkiness. If instead you surprise them by shifting your attention elsewhere, you remove energy from the fight. They might give in once their ego is no longer involved. Manage your non-verbal behavior. If you are going to stay out of the fight, don't roll your eyes, mutter under your breath or make an ugly face as you turn away. You are still sparking the fire with your gestures.

  3. The best thing to do is take a big breath, let it out slowly and focus on breathing comfortably. You are strong when you control your reactions. The disrespect the person is showing has nothing to do with you personally.

  4. Choose one word to anchor your mind until the need to react passes. Choose “compassion” or “tolerance” for the person who obviously is not happy. Choose “calm” for your own peace of mind. Say it over and over like a mantra until you feel the word flow through your body.

  5. Think more broadly. What will this matter tonight, tomorrow or into the future? What is more important to you, getting the last word in or living a long, healthy and somewhat peaceful life? Your health has more value than one-upping a jerk. Consciously and deliberately choose your reaction. This is your power. Don't give it away.

  6. Manage your non-verbal behavior. If you are going to stay out of the fight, don't roll your eyes, mutter under your breath or make an ugly face as you turn away. You are still sparking the fire with your gestures.

Advice from Dr. Marcia Reynolds

If you find yourself being unable to implement these 6 tips, then try these links which I have found:

I hope that they are beneficial in your problem. I just got a thought. Maybe, what you are dealing with, it is just a test of patience and once you have passed this test, if God wishes, it will come to an end, as God Says in the following chapters:

  1. The Consultation
  2. The Cow

So, try just to have trust in God and, try your best to be patient.
Hardship and adversity is decreed by God as a cleansing of our souls from sins we have already committed. As a result, some of the bad things that happen to us are a direct result of sins.

However, the question should not be, "when it is permissible to abandon another Muslim", but it should be like this: "how to deal with bad and mean people especially the one who are Muslims?". Because, if you say that, that boy mocks you, you should tell him what God Says in chapter: [The Defrauder] and also remind him by telling him telling him like this: "My brother! If you don't stop mocking me and being mean to me, then at the end of the day, on the day of judgment, those who are mocked at will mock at those criminals while enjoying luxuries beyond what earthly realm would offer them. They will sit back, relax, enjoy things that they love doing with the best quality of materials and, above all, they will enjoy the fate of those criminals and will pity them, seeing them experience what the Lord decided what they best deserve – the Hell-fire." This is what is written for them. May God protect us from the punishment.

And tell him, that if he rejects the verse or the chapter you're telling him about what he does, then he is a disbeliever. Because, a true believer does not rejects a verse, or anything written in Quran. Because, I read somewhere that says that Quran says: "no one has right to disbelieve in God". I can't remember where I read, but I know exactly what I read.

And if non worked, try to be a very good example to the point where your classmate would quit doing this bad thing and start respecting you, if this hasn't worked, then supplication to God To help you succeed in this matter where you find it difficult. Remember, the most tested people are the prophets and messengers. And take a look at the story of prophet Job for example.

Also, please view this list too which I find it beneficial:

There was a dying father, and once he called his children, and he has given a stick to one of them, and he managed to brick the stick, and the father decided to give that boy a bunch of sticks, but the boy was not able to break them all, and their father told them: "as long as you are united, non can harm you, but if you remain single, you will be vulnerable and easy to be beaten up by others".

P.S. I hope that these advices I gave you, to work well. And if there is anything wrong or you want something to be clarified in this answer, please just feel comfortable on writing a comment below the answer. And if you need wrong in my answer, please just comment below and explain your statements before you decide to make a vote so that I may correct it.

If you need any more help, please contact the counselor from Aboutislam.net.

May God help grant you ease, and help you in every matter you find it difficult. Amin.

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    The vast majority of this answer has nothing whatsoever to do with the topic of Islam and just dismisses the actual question asked. We are not interpersonal.stackexchange.com. – goldPseudo Feb 13 at 22:29
  • @goldPseudo What? Does that mean I have wasted all my effort?! I have tried to answer according to his question. – Alex A Feb 13 at 22:34
  • @AlexA, I only skim read but I think he/she means that you have not addressed whether this person is allowed to abandon his brother – Asan Ramzan Feb 13 at 23:04
  • @AsanRamzan Aaaa, well... in that case, I have not found any clear evidence that one should abandon a Muslim, I only find that another Muslim should advice another Muslim, or to go against the Muslim transgressor as a warning sign. If non has worked, then he may leave him. – Alex A Feb 13 at 23:08
  • @AlexA, in islam there are certain thing that Allah has commanded to be joined, including the Muslims, to severe these is going against the commad of Allah 13:25, Also every Muslim has certain right over his brother e.g. to return salaam. You have not reference this idea of leaving his brother from the Quran. I only have heard one hadith where you can do such a thing but only for 3 days. – Asan Ramzan Feb 14 at 14:24

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