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Aoa. As a child I was abusedZ i didnt know what it was back then. Coming to the main part, I made a friend on the internet, we started texting dirty things to each other Never sent nudes tho. Had phone sex one time, no video calls but a normal phone call. I got Caught, my mother found out, told me to repent and I did. One and a half year later i had too much free time on my hand that I started seatching for 'Friends' on internet, found a someone, I used to send him nudes everyday (I feel ashamed writing this Right now) got caught again, I knew I will get caught but I continued, I felt so bad After sending the first nude but I continued, during all this time I still prayed to Allah to guide me and help me pray 5x a day, when I got caught the first thing I said was 'Alhamdullilah', I knew only this can help me stop.

My first question, Is Allah very unhappy with me? I have disappointed Him very much. My mother says, He didnt forgive you the first time, because if He had, you wouldn't have done it again. I have prayed a lot to him, but I'm unable to cry, the only time I cried while repenting was when I felt that I have disappointed Him. I feel like I am hated by everyone now, even by Allah. And that he will never forgive me because I am not even able to cry before Him.

Secomd question, me doing the same mistake again knowing I will get caught does it have to do anything with the abuse? I feel like my mother will hate me more if i talk to her about the abuse. I feels sometimes the guy who abused me took all my innocence away. Any advice will be appreciated. :(

closed as off-topic by UmH, Rebecca J. Stones, Medi1Saif May 13 at 8:32

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    We can not tell whether Allah is pleased with a person or not. The second question is off-topic. – UmH May 5 at 12:59
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He didnt forgive you the first time, because if He had, you wouldn't have done it again

Sorry but I must disagree with this mother regarding this since we have this versicle:

4:76: And We did not wrong them, but it was they who were the wrongdoers.

And others... 3:135, 10:44 , ...

You condemn yourself, you can think as an automatic condemnation tool. If you do not do bad things, you aren't condemn, but you're tested (with temptations, etc.).

Is Allah displeased with me?

I do not know if He is displeased with you, but probably you'll suffer the consequences (if you insist in the error, if you consider it). Try to use your mind to measure the things that you must do, and mustn't do (according to the Quran), and those that you actually do, if the things tends for the bad side, reflect about that.

My advice is to do something useful, and not being caught in temptations. The Quran it's a excelent "documentation" for being in the right path.

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