I take multiple pharmaceutical drugs, and so fasting is unhealthy for me. Yes, I've tried taking it before fajr and after maghrib, but the way it works is that when I fast it messes with my health because of the way the medications affect my body. The Prophet (SAWS) advised young men such as myself to marry or fast. Unfortunately, I can not marry because for one, I am in school, and too physically weak to enter a trade (though perhaps exercise should help, but my mother who I live with has threatened to kick me out if I leave college, and I have no job, so I fear homelessness or sudden change and I have autism and dislike change). and for two, i am not mentally mature, in part because i suffer from borderline personality disorder and anxiety issues, and fear i would be an oppressor to whomever i marry or whatever children i have with them. i am 19. what should i do? keep in mind, my mother (and there is no father figure), encourages me to "date, so as long as it's not girls from our jamaat, date an american if you want, or meet in groups"


1 Answer 1


First : I just want to point out that almost every Muslim young man has been through the sexual desires you are feeling , you are by no means alone in that , so when you attempt to compare yourself to someone , do compare yourself to your fellow Muslims , that will spare you much of the pain you'll feel when you compare yourself to your American friends many of which , by no sin of their own but by their cultural standards, have no restrictions on adultery , dating , mixing and all these sinful actions whatsoever .

You are a Muslim , so you are different , you have obligations and a faith in the God that created you , so always keep that in mind .
I have no right to say anything about your mother's suggestion , but the entire previous part is dealing with it implicitly , so do with that what you will .

Now : For the question itself , I want to say that if you can't fast , you can still pray , and make dua that Allah would remove the intensity of what you are feeling , you can get up , make wudu and pray whenever you feel the urges overwhelming you , it will only take a couple of minutes but a world of difference , also you are free to follow any human method not mentioned in the quran , it is completely okay . There are actually many movements in America encouraging abstainment and self-control , they also offer incredibly good advice , about certain techniques and changes in diet and many more , that is another good supplement you can use in order to overcome these feelings , and I believe that a mix of these two approaches (Islamic and psychological) would really go a long way with you , and I really wish you all the best brother !

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