I've been in few conversations with Muslims who are clearly doing haram but they fail to acknowledge it or just reply back "Allah will judge me so you don't have to worry about me". For example they have girlfriends and do zina or never pray and I politely try to reason with them to correct them. Their attitude is wrong is it not?
2 Answers
As‘salaamu alaikum.
Yes, their response to your admonishment is wrong. In describing the righteous character traits of His devotees in 25:63-76 Allah says:
“...those who, when they are admonished with the ayah of their Lord, do not droop down at them as if they were deaf or blind....” ayat 73
Allah has command us to “command what is right and forbid what is wrong”, (3:110). I do it but I find this obligation very disagreeable, because, generally speaking, most people don‘t like to have their wrongs pointed out to them. Sometimes, you can see the anger, agitation, and dislike in the expression on their faces!
Nevertheless, admonishing is a duty, so we HAVE to do it. I would like to offer you a few bits of advice that you might find helpful:
Do not admonish a person in front of other people, or they might mouth off to you or disrespectfully dismiss you JUST TO SAVE FACE. Sometimes, even one other person being within earshot is one too many. I‘ve gotten good results by politely pulling people to the side and saying what I have to say.
Be respectful, polite, and gentle in the way you speak to them. Allah himself admonished the Prophet Muhammad (alaihi salaam) on this point (3:159) and He told Prophet Musa (a.s.), “Go, both of you, to Pharoah, for he has indeed transgressed all bounds. BUT SPEAK MILDLY TO HIM, perchance he may take warning or fear.” (20:43-44).
Finally, do not allow yourself to get emotionally attached to them accepting your admonishment. When you get attached to their acceptance of your advice to them, and then they refuse to heed you (or if they rebuff you) then you get vexed and angry. Remember: Allah has not made you to be a manager of other people‘s affairs.
“Leave alone those who take their religion for mere play and amusement, and are deceived by the dunya life, but proclaim this: that every soul delivers itself to ruin by its own acts.” Qur‘an 6:70. And, unless you live in a country where the Sharia is the rule of law, that‘s all you can do.
May Allah bless your efforts and keep you strong. Ameen.
Ma‘as‘salaam.
Yes and No. There is sweet spot for not being too careless or being too authoritative and picky!
Additionally
تکلم الناس علی قدر عقولهم
their level of understandingSpeak with people proportionate to
From Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
To be a Muslim all you have to say is the شهادتین after that you're considered a Muslim.
If you commit zina you're still a Muslim. If you pray you're a Muslim...
Your decision making should be whether or not this person is a person who listens to me an listens to my heed. Otherwise giving advice to someone who doesn't respect you or would just trash whatever you say is unwise. This seems to be your case.
The best you can do then is just be a silent guide to the true Islam. Just be a good Muslim and if they wanted they'll follow your manners. I mean it's not like they don't know you're a Muslim or don't know your good a Muslim or don't know Zina is haram or that they must pray. They know but choose to do other things.
That being said I completely do agree that social sins are to be treated somewhat differently. Islam values the society very much!
e.g. a person openly committing zina is breaking the ties between families. He's on the path of harming someone or possibly parenting an unwanted/unloved child. This is different from someone who just doesn't pray (but believes in Allah and judgement day). Similarly a person who drinks alcohol is more likely to cause harm to the society near him. But again if the person isn't listening to you then consulting them won't benefit much. As a last resort you can logically educate the person without bringing up the name of Islam. Only bring up Islam if the person is truly humble.
