Within a few sinful years I spent, I took psychedelics and since then, I have had paranoid delusions of persecution that 98% of the people I interact with are being paid or threatened by an organization to watch me, make noises around me, put hormones in my food, and remind me that I'm being watched by bringing up things I've watched and done at home.

After reverting back to Islam (Alhamdulellah for His guidance), I have found solace in Allah's justice and believe that if there truly is an organization making people harm me mentally and physically, then justice will be served on the Judgement Day by an exchange of good deeds or bad deeds between me and those people.

My question is, if I live according to the paragraph above, by potentially unjustly blaming people for something that they might not be doing, am I garnering bad deeds myself? I don't act upon my thoughts by calling people out or anything, I just feel pity towards those who I think are harming me and garnering bad deeds in this life.

Edit to bump the question and for added information: The Quranic verse “inna ba’ad–dhan ‘ithm (49:12) makes me feel like it's a sin to think the way I do. Does this verse apply in cases of almost automatic paranoia that one develops over a few years in their unguided times?

  • Salam and welcome to IslamSE the Q&A site about Islam. To learn more about our site and model i.e. what is on- and what is off-topic here I suggest you to take the Tour and check our help center. Some questions on your post do you mean whether having such thoughts in the past is sinful. Also have you ever left the fold of Islam? – Medi1Saif Sep 19 '18 at 13:32
  • Salam Medi1Saif, thank you for your welcome. The thoughts started some years ago when I identified as agnostic, and I still have them until now. I'm worried that by feeling that people are out to get me, I could be unjustly accusing them in my mind and garnering bad deeds. Part of the assumption is that I don't change the way I treat them, it's still full of smiles and respectful actions. Just internal disappointment and pity. As for leaving Islam, I was always a weak Muslim growing up, then I really strayed away during the sinful years, and I have now reverted Alhamdulellah. – Unsure and Confused Sep 19 '18 at 21:01

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