In islam ..Allah has given right to girl to accept or reject proposal of Marriage.. i need to ask..if girl reject a marriage propasal on basis ..that a boy is fat..(not much fat)..and not good in looking. which belongs to very rich and educated family...is it valid..rejection..???
Girls parents arr ready..for proposal...but girls father..asked girl.if you want to marry or not.??.
Just help me...is it valid rejection..

  • I don't see why the intent of the rejection matters as to whether the rejection is valid. Also, it seems that you ignored to mention the most important quality of all: religiosity.
    – The Z
    Aug 31, 2018 at 5:01
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    – Medi1Saif
    Aug 31, 2018 at 5:38
  • @TheZ yes being religious or pious is according the prophet pbuh the best quality, but IMO this is one thing the guardian of the girl should also check first, as it is his agreement or disagreement that may open or close doors!
    – Medi1Saif
    Aug 31, 2018 at 5:40

1 Answer 1


Note that scholars hold different opinion on whether a guardian is allowed to marry a girl while she refuses or not based on different cases (orphan, virgin, young virgin, mature virgin, matron, slave girls, etc. ) and interpretations of the given ahadith.

Basically the ahadith which are taken as a guideline for guardians to ask the girl or woman they are in charge of don't quote a refusal it only say how one can interpret a agreement or consent:

  • "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission).
    (See for exmaple in Sahih al-Bukhari)

  • A woman who has been previously married (Thayyib) has more right to her person than her guardian. And a virgin should also be consulted, and her silence implies her consent. (See for example in Sahih Muslim)

  • "A lady slave should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is granted." The people said, "How will she express her permission?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "By keeping silent (when asked her consent)." (See for example in Sahih al-Bukhari)

From this we learn that expressing an agreement is not necessary for a virgin girl, this leads to the conclusion that a refusal must be uttered!

On the other hand the prophet () told his ummah and especially each guardian who may face the situation of marrying a girl or woman he is in charge of telling them:

"When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."
(See in Jami' at-Tirmdihi and Sunan ibn Majah, the hadith was qualified as Hassan by al-Albani)

And also told men to seek a pious wife:

... "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers."
(See for example in Sahih al-Bukhari and in Sahih Muslim)

so religion should be the first choice when it comes to our spouses. We need a partner of good character and manners for life that helps us to be pious more than one who may be beautiful or handsome while he is young, or of wealth that might get lost or any kind of status. You should consider this as if you might answer that this man is fat this could rather be a weak argument if necessary. Also note that if he is fat you maybe able to help him get slimmer by feeding him healthy food!
Also consider doing istikharah as Allah also tell us that:

... But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. (2:216)

Note that as said before if you want to refuse a proposal you must utter it clearly and take the consequences if you came in the situation that you must utter it in front of this man you should be nice and careful!

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