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Aoa I am a 14 year old and my father is forcing me to wear hijab. When i asked him why he wants me to do that he simply said because he doesn’t like me opening my hair and that she thinks girls look very decent. I had a problem before but i started wearing it afterwards but i politely asked him i i could just not wear it to school for certain reasons but he told me either to wear it to school or stop going to school. I asked him for just 2 years but he was angry.. I tried to explain but he doesn’t want to listen..is it not haram to force your child?

  • Salam and welcome to IslamSE the Q&A site about Islam. To learn more about our site and model consider taking the tour and checking our help center. "What should I do?" questions are rather off-topic as they attract opinion-based answers. The last part is answerable and can be addressed. – Medi1Saif Aug 29 '18 at 6:28
  • I'm sure your parents forced you to eat vegetable when you were younger (or maybe even now). I don't see how this is any different. – The Z Aug 31 '18 at 5:05
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In Islam your father is your guardian as long as you are not married it is his right and duty to take part in your education and guide you to what is allowed and refrain you from what is prohibited in Islam.

  • Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people, is a guardian and is responsible for them, a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband's house and children and is responsible for them; a slave ('Abu) is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges." (See for example in Sahih al-Bukahri and Sahih Muslim)

  • “Allaah will ask every shepherd about that which was entrusted to his care, whether he took care of it or neglected it, and He will even ask a man about his family.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, no. 271 (Source of the translation islamqa #42551)

Hijab is considered as fard for a woman (from the age of maturity on)

Asma, daughter of AbuBakr, entered upon the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) wearing thin clothes. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) turned his attention from her. He said: O Asma', when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to his face and hands. (Sunan abi Dawod)

by Qur'an (see the verses 24:31, 24:60, 33:53 and 33:59) sunnah (See for example in Sahih al-Bukhari 1, 2, 3, in Sahih Muslim 1, 2 and in Sunan abi Dawod and ijma' (there's no scholar saying otherwise). So basically your father is allowed to order you to wear the hijab as Allah has ordered it.

And so is the case for any good deed, good behaviour and worship based on the hadith:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately. (Sunan abi Dawod)

Scholars of all schools of fiqh say it is allowed -if necessary- to force your child to learn and do what is ordered for example memorizing the Qur'an or at least what is necessary of it. This might be a direct conclusion from this fatwa in Arabic on forcing the memorization of the Qur'an on his children islamweb #131766.

Of course forcing is not the best solution it is better to convince by words than to impose ones opinion without explanation. But in the fatwa linked above they hold the opinion that any assumed impact on the self-development of a child is only an assumption without proof.

The limits of obeying the parents are clearly mentioned in the Qur'an which are related with bad deeds, disbelieve and shirk. Scholars also consider divorce a matter where parents shouldn't be obeyed.

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In Islam yes you have to wear it as a girl but if you just are y ready don’t do it you need to commit to it It is better to do it when your ready and wear it for the rest of ur life then being forced and taking it off which is a bigger sin I’m going through the same thing rn and all I can say is good luck

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