Differentiating menstruation blood with virgin blood

Question

Assalamualaikum.

Yesterday was my wedding day. My wife was having her period in the past week but she said it was over and then she did take junub bath or major ablution. But when we start to have sex we realize that there's blood coming out but we're not sure if its virgin blood or menstruation blood. Being a newly wed we continue the intercourse. Only later we started to think that it maybe a menstrual bleeding.

What should we do?
We know that it's forbidden because we were told about it back in school but never really learn the topic, the hadith, etc. Do you think we should pay Kafarrah?
We're financially unstable since we just got married and spent money for the party.

Please help us. We don't know where to ask and afraid that our marriage won't be blessed as we broke Allah's rule on our first night.

Thank you!!!

Answer 1

Usually "what should we/I do?"-Questions are off-topic as they are advice requests and can hardly be answered without being opinion based. I strongly recommend you to rephrase your post!

Therefore based on your post, I will answer the question as follows:

• How can we verify whether it was menstruation or virgin blood?

Virgin blood is usually of lighter red colour -as it is fresh blood- and it usually is only one or two drops. While the menstruation blood has a darker colour. (My source and here a second one in Arabic)

• So what if we had intercourse during her menses?

That would be a big sin as Allah said:

And they ask you about menstruation. Say, "It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves." (2:222)

The scholars hold different opinions on whether or not a kafarah is necessary, according to imam al-Qurtobi (see here under -الثامنة ...-): Abu Hanifa, Malik and a-Shafi'i hold the opinion that the only thing he has to do is repentance and asking Allah for forgiveness. While imam Ahmad considered a kafarah necessary based on a hadith:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said about a man who has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman: He should give one or half dinar as sadaqah. (Sunan abi Dawod and other hadith compilations)

This is also the prfered choice of at-Tabari who said if he didn't it would be fine too. A Shafi'i held this position while he was in Baghdad too. Others said that if intercourse happened during menses one dinar is the kafarah if it was at the end half a dinar.

One dinar is 4.25 grams of gold according this fatwa

According this the minimum you should do is repent and avoid having intercourse during the menses in future.

Answer 2

'Aleykum salam

The main difference between menstrual blood and virgin blood is that the former is darker in colour and lasts approximately 3 till 7 days. Whereas the latter is lighter in colour and it often produces spots on a pad.

So if you remember the shade of the colour (light or dark) you can now make your decision whether it's virgin blood or menstrual blood.

I'd suggest you read the article I provided below to the detail since you're the husband you should know how to take care of your wife. And try to teach yourself more about the human body and in case of doubts I'd suggest to see a practitioner because she/he can make better diagnosis than I can.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If he has intercourse with his menstruating wife in the vagina, he is sinning and he should ask Allah for forgiveness. Concerning the expiation, there are two reports, one of which says that he has to offer expiation because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i with their isnaads from Ibn ‘Abbaas, that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said concerning the one who had intercourse with his wife when she was menstruating: “Let him give a dinar or half a dinar in charity.” And the second report says that he does not have to offer any expiation; this is the view of Maalik, Abu Haneefah and most of the scholars, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever goes to a soothsayer and believes what he says, or has intercourse with his wife in her back passage or when she is menstruating, has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad, blessings and peace of Allah be upon him.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah.) And he did not mention any expiation. And because it is a kind of intercourse that is forbidden because of the harm caused, so it is like intercourse in the back passage. (islamqa)

If it was menstrual blood you should pay half a dinar or a dinar (1 dinar is equivalent to 4.25 grams of gold) to charity. Because you said it was a mistake you shouldn't take it as serious as mentioned in the second source. But you still need to seek for repentance from Allah and offer charity.

Note:

Since your wife was a virgin it's most common to think that a trauma occurred at the hymenal ring which cause a few spots of blood. So there is nothing to be afraid of.

Rest assured with the help of Allah (swt).

Source: Quora