Assalamun Alaikum,

I am a woman of 28 yrs now. I am not living with my abusive and violent husband anymore. I have been living with my parents for a month now and decided for divorce. The question is whether we can look for some eligible men for my second marriage before divorce, as we don't know how much time these procedures will take.

As for my current husband, he is not on deen, doesn't perform salah, doesn't take care of me and my daughter, doesn't provide money on time or when we need, takes money from my earnings, has haram relationships with non Muslim women, and beats me when I ask or even question.

He says his friends come first in his life so he will take care of them and their family first, but besides that he doesn't take care of anything single thing in our house. I manage everything on my own. He doesn't even talk to me and my daughter, who is just 5 yrs old now. He is always on his phone.

When I left him, my daughter was in fever. He didn't even come once to see her, or call to ask about her. So divorce is the last thing left. I have been married to him for 6 years and have suffered enough again and again. He even took all my gold and things that my parents gifted on my wedding. He spends money like water, earns good income, but doesn't buy our own house because his expenses are very high. So, we can only afford to live in rented apartments.

From my side I did more than my responsibilities in terms of each and everything, monetary help, faithfulness, obedience, socially, taking care of his family in offer of my love to him and his family and Allah swt knows that. وجزاكم الله خيرا .

  • If you have made your mind about getting a divorce and you are sure of it, my humble suggestion is to first get the divorce and become a free woman, then seek a new potential husband in appropriate terms. Because what if you find someone before getting a divorce, then your divorce process takes too long (years even), or it is also possible that for any reason you may not be able to divorce? Will it not be painful for both you and this new man if the divorce does not happen or takes too long? Will it not be injustice to this man to wait for you for an indefinite amount of time?
    – yenren
    Commented Aug 6, 2018 at 17:31
  • 2
    You shouldn't seek a new husband unless your divorce has taken place! And you should ask a focused question (see How to Ask).
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Aug 7, 2018 at 14:15

2 Answers 2


Sister, May Allah Help you. As far as i know If you are just looking for other eligible men then may be your parents CAN. But if you are trying to do another Nikah While you already have relationship(Nikah) with your Current hasband. then its not allowed. You have to take divorce and complete your (Iddat) first. (Allah knows better). Take help from Mufti.

  • She is here for help, if you don't know anything why did you answer?
    – sairfan
    Commented Sep 4, 2020 at 14:31

First thing is that u must take divorce before second marriage bcz during first marriage if u take this step it’s oppose the Islam rules and after completing iddat u could second marriage. Second thing is that u are mature enough and if u see that this matter can be solved after sometimes u should be delayed this decision bcz it’s a problem of your daughter life and May God help u and stay blessed

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