Asalam o alaikum, I am a Muslim(Sunni Hanfi) teenager. I once made an oath to Allah not to commit a sin again(I was baligh then,maybe,but not mentally mature then,this was a long time ago),I said,"Ya Allah!I take a qasam that if I commit this sin again,it is like that I am not your man,I don't have imaan on you". Astaghfirullah.I wasn't mature enough to think over it,I foolishly took the oath.I couldn't stop myself and committed the sin again.Then I was very scared of Allah.I received the Kalmah Tayyibah,performed ghusl,prayed to Allah to forgive me. This was about three years ago.I ask Allah for forgiveness,to forgive me and count me as one of his pious men,I pray 5 times a day and try to repent and stay away from committing such sin again.I am currently paying kafarah for breaking qssam(3 fasts,as I can't afford anything else).Will my sin be forgiven?Also,will I be accounted for it?As now I see it,I might have been baligh then but not mentally mature and this was such a foolish thing to do.Please help me. PS:I was 11 or most probably 12 then.Had bit of beard.Had had my first ejaculation.So that's why I think I was baligh.But I wasn't mentally mature.I took such s big step without consideration.
Questions are expected to be specific, on topic, and with some research done prior to asking. Please refer to How to Ask, and take a tour in our help center. What is "I received the Kalmah Tayyibah"?– III-AK-IIIJun 30, 2018 at 17:00
In Quran Para 24: Faman Azlam, Surah Al-Zumar (39), Ayat No. 53 Allah Said: Don't Lose Hope In Allah's Mercy
You are admitting your sin.Its also a Gift from Allah. Just seek Allah's mercy. He Must forgive you. if you took proper (Qasam)outh then you have to pay Kaffara for that. There are many ways to pay kaffara. In this regard take help from mufti to pay your kaffara. He can better tell you about kaffara but dont lose hope. Allah's rehma is much much bigger than our Sins. Just pay Kaffara,seek tauba and you are done!