We have been married many years but because she is conservative and perhaps because she is from a Muslim country she isn't as free with me as I'd like. If I want to look at her breasts and privates with the light on and for a long time I can right? She gets shy even with the light off if I go down to see her lady parts under the bedsheets. I get frustrated and sometimes think maybe her pretty sister would be more free in bed and why did I not marry her my bad luck! What can I do to fix this issue?

(It's the same the other way I want her to look at my male organ and scrotum and like it other than just intercourse and a quick hand job as foreplay)

  • 4
    How is this related to islam? you need to seek a marriage counselor.
    – aadil095
    Commented Jun 22, 2018 at 21:32
  • 1
    Short Answer : Yes she can look at and touch any part but as a loving husband it is better to communicate and understand each other's desires and limitations rather than hate them and secretly lust their siblings.
    – Ahmed
    Commented Jun 23, 2018 at 5:04
  • Your post seems to indicate that you do consider women as sex toys without feelings. You should have some respect for your wife and her feeling! Masturbation is considered as haram by a waste majority of scholars.
    – Jamila
    Commented Jun 25, 2018 at 6:22
  • I think this offers an answer Is a married couple allowed to be naked during sex, see also What is the 'awarah between husbands and wives
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Jun 25, 2018 at 7:34

1 Answer 1


A man can see any part of his wife, yes.

However, most women feel insecure about their bodies regardless of what part of the world they are from. A good husband would work on getting his wife to feel comfortable enough and at ease to want to show her body to her husband. A bad husband would get "frustrated" and start thinking of other women.

"maybe her pretty sister would be more free in bed" - This is not an answer to your question; it is misleading you. As an analogy, consider that maybe your brother would please your wife better than you would. There are enough "maybes" to get people to commit great evils. And this is why the Prophet (ﷺ) said, وما شاء فعل فإن لو تفتح عمل الشيطان ("your" if" opens the (gate) for the Satan") - Muslim 2664. So don't think "what if" and "maybe" and instead appreciate what you have and seek to derive maximum benefit from it.

From what you've described, she is fulfilling your right to having intercourse. She is doing what is required of her, from an Islamic perspective. If you want to go beyond where you both currently are, then you should start working on reassuring her, getting her to relax and be comfortable in these things without adding too much pressure. Some men are sweet/charming and have a natural ability to make women feel comfortable; unfortunately it seems you do not and will need to work on this.

Hope this helps, somewhat.

  • 2
    I'm speechless of how cold and at the same time awesome you were, i understand people make mistakes, but you should explain their mistake kindly and openly, and if must, then use a bit colder language, but only the amount which is enough.
    – Salmush
    Commented Jul 5, 2018 at 0:39

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