I am a 25-year old Muslim woman living in the UK with my parents and siblings, and I have been in love with a non-Muslim man for 3 years. We agree this will not lead anywhere, both out families would not agree.

We thought about him converting, so I asked my mum if I can get married to a convert, but she said no. I don’t want to go against my parents decision, plus the Nikah wouldn't be valid without my parents' consent.

I explained the situation to my brother, that I don’t want to get married to anyone else. He said if he converts, I have permission to marry him.

If I go ahead with this Nikah when my parents do not agree and my older brother gives me his permission, will the Nikah be valid? I have 2 older brothers that will be there with me.

I asked the first part of my question here: Can a girl tell her parents that she doesn’t want to get married at all?


1 Answer 1


The Shafi'i fiqh book The Reliance of the Traveller (Wikipedia) makes two relevant points here:

  1. After your father's permission, next in line is your paternal grandfather (father's father) and so on up, then brothers, with first precedence going to the oldest brother. (The Reliance slightly differs from Who can be wali, and in what order? in that it doesn't mention sons.)

    (m3.7) None of the above may marry her to someone when a family member higher on the list exists.

    Your mother's permission doesn't enter into the validity of the marriage (although there are matters of undutifulness to your mother (IslamWeb)).

  2. A woman has the right to marry a suitable match:

    (m3.9) Whenever a free woman asks to marry a suitor who is a suitable match ..., the guardian must marry her to him

    with some exceptions, the relevant one here is:

    (m4.1) Suitability concerns lineage, religiousness, profession, and being free of defects that permit annulling the marriage contract ...

Basically, the father has an Islamic right (even duty) to refuse to marry his daughter to a man of poor religiousness, which may apply here.

However, an individual case would need a scholar and a fatwa.

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