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At the age of around 20, I was forced to wear hijab by my father. I don't want to wear the hijab just yet, so I've worn it on and off since then.

My dad once lectured me, forcing me to wear hijab or else my parents will get punished in hell.

I just want to know if there is any proofs (hadiths, anything) that says parents will be punished and responsible for their daughter's sins if she doesn't wear hijab.

  • Salam and welcome to Islam SE the Q&A site about Islam. Please consider taking your time to make yourself familiar with our site and model, by taking our tour and checking our help center. Just note that if you look for a hadith or verse saying exactly what you want to search for you would often if not mostly search in vain but you may find lots of ahadith and verses which can be used as evidences for that. As the rulings one could conclude from evidences are of more general use. – Medi1Saif Mar 15 '18 at 14:01
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    I pruned the lengthy family drama from the question. – Rebecca J. Stones Mar 15 '18 at 14:37
  • The question is “The Z” does our parents be responsible for our sin or not, just because the daughter isnt ready to wear hijab yet? Are there anywhere that says in islam our parents will be punished too? — dont you think explaining and correcting a muslim sister be the correct way for a muslim person? – MsA Mar 16 '18 at 7:04
  • The parents should raise the child to be a good person. That doesn't necessarily include wearing something. Unless not acceptable by the society. Anyway, at the age of 20, the kid should have some freedom to "rebel", and will come to norm sooner or later. I'd rather focus on her to think critically, educate etc. – Ondra Žižka Mar 18 '18 at 23:43
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Allah ordered his Prophet ﷺ to command his wives and daughters to cover themselves up:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَاجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَاءِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَابِيبِهِنَّ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَن يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ ۗ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا

O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.

— Surat Al-Ahzab 33:59

It is, therefore, the duty of every parent in Islam to follow the path of the Prophet ﷺ and the command of Allah by ordering their wives and daughters to wear the ordained Islamic dress for women. This is for the good of the father, the mother, and the children:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.

— Surat At-Tahrim 66:6

When asked about the interpretation of this verse, the Prophet ﷺ explained that it meant forbidding them from what is wrong and enjoining them into what is right:

عن عمر- رضي الله عنه- قال: لمّا نزلت هذه الآية يا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ ناراً يا رسول الله نقي أنفسنا فكيف لنا بأهلينا؟ فقال: تنهونهم عمّا نهاكم الله، وتأمرونهم بما أمر الله

NOTE: My own translation, so treat with care:

Narrated on the authority of 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) that he said: "When the verse 'O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones', we asked: 'O Messenger of Allah, [we know how to] protect ourselves, but how about our families?' He replied: 'By forbidding them from what Allah forbade you from, and by enjoining them to what Allah has ordered.'"

— Nadrat an-Na'īm, Vol. 9, pp. 3684 (Arabic only)

Accordingly, the scholars agreed that there is no doubt that parents are responsible for the actions of their children. They said that the protection is by mandating their obedience to the commands of Allah on themselves and their families, let the commands be of things to follow or things to avoid or to repent wrongdoings. The application includes teaching, advising, and forcing. Below are some examples of what the scholars said and how this verse should be applied:

  • 'Abdullah ibn 'Abbās: "Forbid them from what is forbidden by Allah, and command them to do what is good and avoid what is evil. Teach them then discipline them; this is how you protect them from Hellfire."
  • 'Ali ibn Abi Tālib said: "Teach them, then discipline them. Obey Allah's commands. Refrain from disobedience. Order your families to remember Allah for Allah to save you from Hellfire."
  • Mujahid: "Fear Allah, and order your families to fear Allah, too."
  • Qatādah: "Protecting them from Hellfire is by ordering them to obey Allah and to forbid them from disobeying Him, to help them attain this goal. If he sees disobedience, he should strongly restrain them, prevent them, and reprimand them."

The hierarchy of this responsibility is clearly defined in a hadith in Sahih al-Bukhāri and Sahih Muslim (which is quoted below). The father is responsible for himself as well as his wife, sons, and daughters. The wife is responsible for herself as well as the sons and daughters.

عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَنَّهُ قَالَ: أَلاَ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ فَالأَمِيرُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُمْ وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ بَعْلِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ وَهِيَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ وَالْعَبْدُ رَاعٍ عَلَى مَالِ سَيِّدِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُ أَلاَ فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ

It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet (May peace be upon him) said: Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian of the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.

— Sahih Muslim, Book 33, Hadith 24

Will the parents be punished for the sins that their daughter commits? Only Allah knows who will be punished for what, but they may be punished perhaps not for the sins themselves but rather for not stopping the sins as commanded above. Allah is the sole authority over who gets punished or forgiven, in what manner, and for what reasons.

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Aslamualikum, This is a very interesting Question that i used to always ask myself, the answer is no. He cannot force you into doing anything that has to do with religion, just like it was written in the Quran ( لا إكراه في الدين ) which means there is no compulsion in Islam, meaning that he cannot force you into praying, wearing hijab, and so on.

(فَذَكِّرْ إِنَّمَا أَنتَ مُذَكِّرٌ , لَّسْتَ عَلَيْهِم بمسيطر) here is another aya that tells the prophet pbuh, that you should only remind them, not control them of their deeds. Your dad should advise you, not to force you. This means that your dad should advise you to do the right thing, like bring you to the mosque, teach you the Quran and the sunna, explaining to you the prayers ramadan, hijab etc. Allah gave you a mind to know what's wrong and right. If your dad peached you well, but you decided still not to wear it, your dad is not sinful, but if he doesn't teach you anything (no matter if you wear it or no) he will be sinful. this is because he didn't fulfill his duties and teach his children what is islam, but if he goes to heaven or hell, that is something up to god, and Allah is the most merciful.

Another thing to keep in mind, if your dad forces you to wear hijab, your doing this for him not for Allah, meaning you wont benefit anything from it. If you are a Muslim the main thing you should keep in mind is that your relationship with god is only between you and Allah. Don't allow your dad to get in between it, it is your life, your belief, not your dads, your dad could advise you to wear it, but forcing it on you is actually Haram.

Just like the prophet pbuh said (إِنَّمَا الأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ) which means The deeds are considered by the intentions, if you bumped into someone by accident, and they hurt themselves, you would'nt get any bad deeds, because your intentions were to hurt the person. Same goes for wearing the hijab, if you only wear it because you were forced to by your dad, your intentions are not for Allah but for your dad.

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    This is a misuse of qur'anic text fragments. – Medi1Saif May 2 at 15:35

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