I am reverted to Islam and used to be a Hindu I do not worship idols but during some day in months Hindu worship the dead people of family to show them respect and for that they burn something like coal in name of them and prostate in front of them I am secretly following Islam and my mother told me to prostrate in front of that even I was a Muslim I just sit down and just took my head down I do not touch the ground with my nose and head and was taking name of Allah I can not say no to my parents for this have I done shirk I even cried after this in front of Allah and I am now feeling that I do not deserve to be a servant of Allah. What can I do now please help!! I can not ask for tauba as I can not promise to Allah that I will not do it again. Help me.
I'll mention some points (but it looks like this question goes beyond what random people on the Internet can help with):
If the object in question is not being ascribed any supernatural powers, we might view it as functioning as a sutrah. When praying with a sutrah, we are not worshiping the sutrah; we are worshiping Allah.
Sometimes it's better to do things that are not appropriate in Islam to foster better relations. Moreover, Islam encourages having good relationships with one's family members (e.g. Sahih al-Bukhari 5980).
There's a notion of not being obstinate in religious matters. Moreover, in extreme circumstances, Islam has a notion of taqiyya ("precautionary ... denial of religious belief"). However, determining whether this idea can be applied to these particular circumstances requires a scholar.
And Allah knows best.
To me it looks as if you are deciding whom to follow;
- your parents
It is in no way, to disobey Allah's commands, acceptable. If this is a one of thing you can pray and ask for forgiveness. But because you said that you are not sure if it will happen again, you are valuing your parents' will over Allah's. Being a Muslim itself means to worship no one but Allah.
Even though the Quran states that obeying parents comes first to anything, but if your parents are telling you to do something against your belief and religion, it will be acceptable to just say no to that in the name of Allah.
Note that I am in no way mean any offence to your parents.
Assalamu Alaikum brother May Allah give you the highest rank in Jannah.
First of all, I'm very amazed by the fact that you accepted Islam secretly. You're one of those whom Allah has guided. You're the luckiest.
Brother, I want you to know the fact that nothing occurs in this universe except by the permission of Allah Azzawajal and as far as I believe, Allah was testing you by putting you in a situation where you had to prove two things to Allah:
- is your faith in Allah true?
- are you obedient to your parents?
Mashallah, you've not only proved the first thing by remembering Allah in prostration but also proved obedience towards your parents. You made it.
Let me explain this way, We go to the mosque (masjid) to perform Namaz - the mosque is surrounded by four walls, let's name it East, West, North, and South - so whenever we prostrate, our head is positioned in front of the northern wall. So, can I say that we're worshipping the northern wall? No of course not, since our intention was to worship Allah Alone. Did you get it?
See the point I'm trying to make here is, it doesn't matter what is placed in front of you while you prostrate, what matters the most is your pure intention that I'm prostrating Allah. Everything in Islam is judged by intention and if your intention was to prostrate that already-dead member of your family, then you've committed shirk.
Now coming to the words in which you said "I am now feeling that I do not deserve to be a servant of Allah"...Never ever say that again in your life. Its shaitan's words, not yours because he's jealous of you that you've accepted Islam. He wants you to revert back to your former religion by making you believe that Oh Abdullah! you've committed shirk, you're not a good servant, you're not worthy to worship Allah.
Remember one thing, Allah selected you to worship Him and not the idols. Then, you definitely worth it.
Jazakallahu Khair for reading be good towards your parents and remember them and my parents in your dua.