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Today in the Friday sermon I've heard the following expression which is apparently a part of a hadith on the authority of Jabir () saying:
"The believer feels at ease with people and they feel at ease with him. ..."
"... المؤمن يألف ويؤلف"
I'd like to know the possible sources for this statement and whether it is indead a hadith or a saying of a sahabi etc.?
If you could provide similar (sourced) statements in other ahadith that would be great?
In As-Silsila As-Sahiha, Maktabat al-Ma'arif: 1994, Vol. 1, pp. 787-789, hadith 426, Nasir al-Din al-Albani wrote:
الْمُؤْمِنُ يَأْلَفُ وَيُؤْلَفُ وَلَا خَيْرَ فِيمَنْ لَا يَأْلَفُ وَلَا يُؤْلَفُ وَخَيْرُ النَّاسِ أَنْفَعُهُمْ لِلنَّاسِ
— NOTE: My own translation, so treat with care:
The believer befriends and is befriended. There is no good in those who do not befriend or be befriended. The best people are those who benefit other people most.
Nasir al-Din al-Albani mentioned the different sources of this hadith and ruled it as a good hadith (hassan) from the chain of narration point of view. The sources that Nasir al-Din al-Albani quoted are (I have added volume, page, and hadith number, when available):
In addition to the sources above, I have come across mentions of the hadith (or similar hadiths) in the following sources:
The chain of narration is:
This hadith was narrated only through 'Ali ibn Bahrām, who is not mentioned in major books of men. All others in the chain of narration are trustworthy (thiqa, Arabic: ثقة). This was based on other similar hadiths with authentic chains, and other narrations of the same hadith that strengthens it.
The hadith means that because of the easy-going, generous, lenient attributes of the believers, people will want to befriend them and they will reciprocally befriend people. Those who are weak in their belief will likewise be weak in manners: rough, hard to deal with, and so on. Other hadiths that have similar meanings are below.
The following hadith was documented by Al-Tabarāni in Al-Mu'jam al-Awsat (hadith 4422) and in Al-Mu'jam as-Saghīr (hadith 606), in addition to Al-Baihāqi in Shu'ab al-Īman (hadith 7983):
النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: أكمل الناس إيمانا أحاسنهم أخلاقا الموطئون أكنافا، الذين يألفون ويؤلفون ولا خير فيمن لا يألف ولا يؤلف
— NOTE: My own translation, so treat with care:
The Prophet ﷺ said: "The most perfect in their faith are the best mannered, the lenient and easy going, those who befriend and are befriended. There is no good in those who do not befriend and are not befriended."
The following hadith was also documented by Ahmad ibn Hanbal in his Musnad, Al-Baihāqi in Shu'ab al-Īman, and by Al-Hindi in Kanz al-'Ummāl:
النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ألا أخبركم بخياركم؟ قالوا بلى يا رسول الله قال: الذين إذا رءوا ذكر الله تعالى، ثم قال: ألا أخبركم بشراركم؟ المشاءون بالنميمة المفسدون بين الأحبة الباغون للبرآء العنت
— NOTE: My own translation, so treat with care:
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Do I tell you about your best?" They said: "Yes, O Apostle of Allah." The Prophet ﷺ said: "Those who when are seen, Allah is mentioned." Then he followed: "Do I tell you about your worst? Those who walk among people with gossip, spoil relationships between those who love each other and wish hardships for the innocent.
The following hadith (ruled weak) was documented by At-Tabarāni in Al-Mu'jam al-Kabīr, Ibn Abi al-Dunya in Qadā' al-Hawā'ij (hadith 36), and by Al-Dhahabī in Al-Mīzān (hadith 6/178):
النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: أحب الناس إلى الله أنفعهم، وأحب الأعمال إلى الله عز وجل سرور تدخله على مسلم، أو تكشف عنه كربة، أوتقضي عنه ديناً، أوتطرد عنه جوعاً، ولأن أمشي مع أخي المسلم في حاجة أحب إلي من أن أعتكف في المسجد شهراً، ومن كف غضبه ستر الله عورته، ومن كظم غيظاً، ولو شاء أن يمضيه أمضاه، ملأ الله قلبه رضى يوم القيامة، ومن مشى مع أخيه المسلم في حاجته حتى يثبتها له، أثبت الله تعالى قدمه يوم تزل الأقدام، وإن سوء الخلق ليفسد العمل، كما يفسد الخل العسل
— NOTE: My own translation, so treat with care:
The Prophet ﷺ said: The most loved persons by Allah are the most useful. The most loved acts by Allah are bringing happiness to a Muslim, removing his troubles, paying his debt, or driving away his hunger. For me, to pursue fulfilling my Muslim brother's need is beloved to me more than devoting one month's time in a masjid. Those who control their anger, Allah conceal their faults. Those who suppress their anger when they can willfully show it, Allah will fill their hearts with content on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever pursues fulfilling his Muslim brother's need until completion, Allah will steady his feet on the day when feet slip. Bad manners spoil deeds as vinegar spoils [the taste of] honey.
Last but not least, the following hadith was documented by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad:
عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ: الْمُؤْمِنُ الَّذِي يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ، وَيَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ، خَيْرٌ مِنَ الَّذِي لاَ يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ، وَلاَ يَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ
Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The believer who mixes with people and endures their injury is better than the person who does not mix with people nor endure their injury."
Those who quote this narration usually give Ahmad and Al Bazar as the source, so that is where you ought to look for it.
I've seen this quoted in a number of places. Generally the full hadith (translated into English) is quoted as, "the believer gets along with people and they feel comfortable with him. There is no goodness in the one who does not get along with people and with whom they do not feel comfortable".
This concept is similar to that mentioned in Al Tirmidhi.
The Prophet said, خيركم من يرجى خيره ويؤمن شره وشركم من لا يرجى خيره ولا يؤمن شره (The best of you is the one whose goodness is hoped for, and people are safe from his evil. And the worst of you is he whose goodness is not hoped for, and people are not safe from his evil) - Tirmidhi (2263).
