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Salam,

I am a 19 year old man in college in America. I have been addicted to masturbation since I was 11 years old, and have tried so much to stop it. I am currently attempting to see if I can find anyone to marry. About two weeks ago, I saw a very beautiful Muslim woman and told myself that I would give up masturbation to get either that woman or some one like her to marry me. Hence, I made a deal with Allah that I will not masturbate and will become much more religious, and in exchange He will give me a beautiful and pious woman to marry. I changed so much in the past two weeks and have become much better, praying tahajjud for an hour every night and not masturbating at all, but today I accidentally did something that caused me to masturbate unintentionally and I am so upset. What do I do? Does this mean that Allah will not give me a woman to marry because I accidentally broke the promise? Can I continue with this promise and ask Allah to overlook and forgive this one mistake? Is everything I did useless now? Please help me!

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You seem to have broken a vow. See Quran 5:89 for how to make expiation.The vow is finished, unless you renew it [which you shouldn't if you have even a slight doubt that you won't be able to abide by it].

Keep in mind that Allah is رب السماوات والارض and not some merchant with whom you can trade. You can't make deals with Him, you can't obligate Him to do anything and there is nothing you can offer Him that He needs.

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