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I am curious as what would be an islamic approach to this situation. You have been friends with someone since you were kids, yet one day he betrayed you. You discontinue being friends with them.

1) Should you still be friends with this person, forgive for Allah? If so, to what extent?

2) how do you know he won't do it again, is this naive or wise?

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَّكُمْ >فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ ۚ وَإِن تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ - 64:14

O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

2 Answers 2

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In the name of God, Most Merciful, Most Just.

If you can’t forgive others, how do you expect that God would forgive you? Because God the Exalted Says:

”Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not love for God to forgive you? God is Forgiving and Merciful”.

This is a prove that God Says like that, not me.

God Says:

خُذِالْعَفْوَوَأْمُرْبِالْعُرْفِوَأَعْرِضْعَنِالْجَاهِلِينَ “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant”.[surah An-Nur 24:22]

And also God Says:

”Verily, the Hour is coming, so forgive them with gracious forgiveness”.[surah Al-raf, 7:199]

So this means, if your friend betray you, then leave him alone, find another friend but only this time, a true friend who does not betray you. And forgive others so that God will forgive you, because He loves to see people forgiving each other, because

God Says:

”The believers are those who spend in charity during ease and hardship and who restrain their anger and pardon the people, for God loves the doers of good”. [Surah Al-Hijr, 15:85]

Even prophet Muhammad says:

”Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and God will forgive you.”

Yes, it just to forgive others for the sake of God, because God Says in Quran:

Quran 5:8 says, "Do not let the hatred of people prevent you from being just. Be just." The elsewhere in The Quran it is mentioned "God loves those who act justly." ~ Quran 49:9

So this includes, forgiving others, this is one of the parts of being a just person.

And of course if you are not able to forgive your friend, then say like this:

My Lord, forgive my people for they do not know.

And if you can’t either this, then, ask God To forgive you and finish, next time you should forgive others. But, if you forgive others, it is something that benefits you. So, it is your choice, what you choose, You can’t or you can?

Conclusion: it is better to forgive your friend and leave him alone or give him the last chance to prove himself that, he can be a good person with, if not, then pardon him, then leave him, because you will earn more good deeds if you forgive others, and God will love you, because He loves justice and kindness. And the end of life is approaching fast, so better forgive him so that you can be safe on the day of judgement where God will judge you. If you wish to go to Heaven, then be good(i.g. forgive others and obey what God tells you to do) then if God wishes, He will put you to Heaven because of being kind with others including your family.

And God knows best.

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Assalamu'Alaykum O Rahmatullah O Barokatuh! How are you brother? The best way is to forgive others. Why? When you forgive other Allah forgive your sins. The Muttaqin you must forgive others. Why? With out forgiving others they won't be Muttaqin and this is were Shaytan comes to cause trouble, misguidance and etc.
Sometimes is hard to forgive others. Why? Because human nature. Forgiving cleans blackness of a soul. Makes a person kind, happy, greatfull, closer to Allah (swt) increase you piety etc. Wish you all the best akhi. Assalamu'Alaykum O Rahmatullah O Barokatuh!

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  • Wa alaykum Asalam. I am fine, thank you. So without apology, always forgive? Ok, but in the case I mentioned, should you forgive and give space. Because what if they do it to you again. Is it possible Allah wants us to use logic too?
    – mocha
    Commented Oct 20, 2017 at 0:32

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