Assalamualakykum i'm a 21 yr medical student pakistani girl...before coming to medical profession i have never thaught of haram activities involving opposite sex...but as dayz passed i have found myslf indulging into pronography masturbation(without any toys) and i have been chatting to a guy for months....since he is also a doctor from india...we imagined oursleves on each othrs bed at night and had thoughts of zina ...we evn dicussed on chat how d imagination was n wat all did it involve ..this boy has nevr seen me without niqaab but i have seen his photos ......neither we heard each othr........my question ....will allah forgive me for this shamefull act of mine.....plzz let me know dear...i hav evn tried of comitting suicide aftr my shameful chat with him........plz help me....in need
Wa Alaikum As Salam. Dear sister, Islamically speaking... To get over a past of Zina (even sexual intercourse, let alone Zina of the tongue/eyes/etc) is as simple as repenting and refraining from the sin. Reality is that nothing you have done is as bad as suicide would be. Fear Allah (ﷻ) and never approach that again. Suicide would doom you worse than sexually chatting up with a guy would.
"will allah forgive me for this shamefull act of mine"?
Of course he would ^. There is no doubt about that at all because Allah's Mercy is infinite and He forgives those who sincerely seek His Forgiveness. Allah (ﷻ) even forgave a man who murdered 100 people but was seeking repentance. [Ref: Ibn Majah]. So why wouldn't He forgive you?
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“Allah, Blessed is He and Most High, said: ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. So son of Adam! If you came to me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it’” - Tirmidhi (3540).
So don't despair. Just repent, put your past behind you, end communication with this non-mahram and strive to stay away from all sins. Start anew. Allah only doesn't forgive those who don't repent.