I never deny that my father has spent on me generously (since birth til today).. but he keeps reminding me of this constantly. Is that wrong of him to do, especially per Quran 2:264?

O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders or injury as does one who spends his wealth [only] to be seen by the people and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day. [Qur'an (2:264)].

Does this apply in this situation OR am I being unreasonable at being annoyed by him constantly 'reminding' me?

[Note: He does take from my wealth now too, but it angers him if I ever bring this point up].


The verse refers to the one who gives to charity/sadaqa yet boasts/complains about it.

Parents don't give "charity"/"sadaqa" to their own children. That's clearly different. Parents giving to children is "nafaqa"/"domestic spending". There is no way to validly quantify their monetary, emotional and physical contributions to their children over years of time.

Most parents around the world remind their children about how much they've spent in raising them. This is completely normal and common behaviour. Sure, some may go overboard due to their personas, but it's nothing for the child to seriously protest against.

And Allah knows best.

  • Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said: "What you feed yourself is charity for you, what you feed your children is charity for you, what you feed your wife is charity for you, and what you feed your servant is charity for you" (Musnad Ahmad).
    – Muslimah
    Oct 2 '17 at 3:01
  • Indeed, but refer to the Prophet PBUH stating every one of you is a shepherd of his own flock. Children and wives are the flock of the parent/husband. It's only Allah's mercy making such a responsibility considered a charity when done right. Oct 2 '17 at 3:23

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