Abusive spouse in dunya, relationship in the akhira?

Question

From what I understand, it seems to be a pretty mainstream (if not consensus) opinion that married couples where both parties go to paradise will be married in paradise as well (see e.g. When a woman's husband dies and she remarries, which husband will she be with in Jannah? - the answer seems to be "the last one she married").

Now as far as I can tell, there is doctrinal consensus that all people who die as Muslims will go to paradise eventually (though historically, a few now-considered-heretical sects like the Mutazilites may have thought you could end up getting tortured in hell for eternity for grievous sins).

Together, these two statements imply that if two people who were married and both died as Muslims, then they will be together in paradise forever.

Question: Do things like spousal abuse change the doctrinal position here? Say a husband abused his wife all her life, but they both died as Muslims - does she get a say of "I don't want that man" in paradise?

Answer 1

In regards to spousal abuse changing the doctrinal position, the answer is no. Prior to entering Jannah, all potential causes of a future dispute will have been settled:

عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ:‏ إِذَا خَلَصَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ مِنَ النَّارِ حُبِسُوا بِقَنْطَرَةٍ بَيْنَ الْجَنَّةِ وَالنَّارِ، فَيَتَقَاصُّونَ مَظَالِمَ كَانَتْ بَيْنَهُمْ فِي الدُّنْيَا، حَتَّى إِذَا نُقُّوا وَهُذِّبُوا أُذِنَ لَهُمْ بِدُخُولِ الْجَنَّةِ، فَوَالَّذِي نَفْسُ مُحَمَّدٍ صلى الله عليه وسلم بِيَدِهِ لأَحَدُهُمْ بِمَسْكَنِهِ فِي الْجَنَّةِ أَدَلُّ بِمَنْزِلِهِ كَانَ فِي الدُّنْيَا

Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "When the believers pass safely over (the bridge across) Hell, they will be stopped at a bridge in between Hell and Paradise where they will retaliate upon each other for the injustices done to them in the world, and when they get purified of all their sins, they will be admitted into Paradise. By Him in Whose Hands the life of Muhammad is everybody will recognize his dwelling in Paradise better than he recognizes his dwelling in this world."

_{— Sahih al-Bukhari 2440, Book 46, Hadith 1}

So any form of spousal abuse will have been "retaliated for"; hence, no longer a matter of concern. Allah informs us that we will not enter Jannah bearing any form of resentment to other believers:

وَنَزَعْنَا مَا فِي صُدُورِهِم مِّنْ غِلٍّ إِخْوَانًا عَلَىٰ سُرُرٍ مُّتَقَابِلِينَ

And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other.

_{— Qur'an, Al-Hijr, 15:47}

In regards to the wife having the choice to reject her husband, there is no verse in Qur'an or hadith that I am aware of that specifies ability or deny or reject what one may not desire. The only verses I am aware of are about getting what one desires (and more):

لَهُم مَّا يَشَاءُونَ فِيهَا وَلَدَيْنَا مَزِيدٌ

They will have whatever they wish therein, and with Us is more.

_{— Qur'an, Qaf 50:35}