First, the Hereafter is entirely different than this earthly life. One of those ways in which it is different is that all negative emotions will be removed. So you are worrying about a paradise based on the emotions and jealousies of this life, while Al-Akhira is an entirely different world/timelessness. Not only will you get what your heart desires, but the desires of your heart, in the Presence and acceptance of Allah, will not be at all like they are in this life, neither did you nor for your husband. He too shouldn't place all his stock in earthly imaginings about hoor al-'ein. Because the nature of desire in the Hereafter is not like that of this world.
There will be no childbirth, hence no procreation in the usual sense. There will be no betrayal or sense of unfairness whatsoever. All people who enter paradise will be cleansed of any hatred or negative emotions in their hearts.
7:43
And We will have removed whatever is within their breasts of
resentment, [while] flowing beneath them are rivers. And they will
say, "Praise to Allah, who has guided us to this; and we would never
have been guided if Allah had not guided us. Certainly the messengers
of our Lord had come with the truth." And they will be called, "This
is Paradise, which you have been made to inherit for what you used to
do."
The Arabic word "ghil" is similar to frustration and resentment, and this sort of emotion is exactly what you are describing above. Part of what makes Paradise so unimaginably wonderful is this removal of such emotions from the heart. For the believer, however, closeness to Allah, good far beyond imagination, is far more fulfilling than anything one can quibble about in this life. All worries and anxieties fall away. Trust this, and here is one instance where the height of optimism should be employed: Janna is way beyond any earthly pleasures, and the more you look forward to Allah's acceptance, in reverence, the less you will worry about that. No one on this life really knows what will be in Paradise except what Allah has revealed, and much of that is really similitude or allegory to give us a sense of the magnitude of it, but these indications are not to be taken so literally. Trust that Allah who is all capable is surely more than capable of rewarding the believers with complete fairness and fulfillment. Don't quibble over who gets what. Perhaps in the next life gender will be irrelevant, or at least not having the hierarchy of superior/ inferior we have in this life. The joy of interaction with believers will be indescribable. There is no good like that given by Allah!
If you must worry about something, it should be about how you are behaving in this earthly life, which is a test. It is we who fall short, never, never the promises of the All-Merciful.
