After months of studying Islam i decided to become the Muslim.My family didn't have any problem with that.I was reading Quran yesterday and i found this ayat

You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred. Those - He has decreed within their hearts faith and supported them with spirit from Him. And We will admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him - those are the party of Allah . Unquestionably, the party of Allah - they are the successful.>

Does this mean i am not allowed to show affection to my mother,father and my sisters?I love them so much.

  • Narrated by Ali ibn Abu Talib: I said to the Prophet (ﷺ): Your old and astray uncle has died. He said: Go and bury your father, and then do not do anything until you come to me. So I went, buried him and came to him. He ordered me (to take a bath), so I took a bath, and he prayed for me. Sunan Abi Dawud 3214---- you can see Ali iscalling his father as old and astray
    – user22565
    Commented Jul 21, 2017 at 16:47

4 Answers 4


The verse you've referenced (Quran 58:22) is specifically about those who are at actively at war with Islam and the Muslims.

You are not forbidden from showing affection to those who don't fight Islam and the Muslims:

Quran 60:8 Allah does not forbid you to deal justly and kindly with those who fought not against you on account of religion and did not drive you out of your homes. Verily, Allah loves those who deal with equity.

On the contrary you are commanded to show affection to them, but not at the cost of your iman:

Quran 29:8 And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.

Quran 17:23-24 And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

Quran 31:14 And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.

And in Hadith:

Narrated Asma' bint Abu Bakr (ra):

My mother came to me during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and she was a Mushrikah (polytheist, idolatress, pagan).

I said to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (seeking his verdict), "My mother has come to and she desires to recieve a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her ?"

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Yes, keep good relation with her."

Ibn 'Uyaina said, "Then Allah revealed: 'Allah forbids you not with regards to those who fought not against you because of religion, and drove you not out from your homes, that you should show them kindness and deal justly with them.'.......(60.8)

Sahih Bukhari, Book of gifts and Book of Manners

For your future study, the commands of the Quran about treatment of non-Muslims fit into the following categories:

  1. Those who are Harbis (at war)
  2. Those who are Dhimmis (subjects of the state)
  3. Those who are at Aman (have peace treaties or safe conduct)

One of the unique characteristics of Islam is showing compassion and Justice where its due. Kindness to kith and kin is obligatory acts on an individual Muslim. A Muslim needs to differentiate between kindness, compassion, justice and love. As of now deal gently with your kith and kin. Joking and laughing with them is not correct as per Islam.your interactions with them should have sharii benefits.



Barakallah, may Allah (Teala) give you prosperity and happiness with your decision to Islam. MashaAllah, You are reading Qur'an and its direct translations to English, but this might confuse even mislead you because of translations between different langues and cultures. My first advice after reading one ayah, also read their details called Tafseer among many of them.

Similar situation just like you happened in the Prophets (Peace be upon them) and also in the Sahabe (Hz Muhammad (peace be upon him)'s friends). For living as a human, you can love and respect them but when the subject comes to religion you can not show inclination or privilege to them up until they accept Islam.

Be regardful/kind to them and relent to them and pray for them about Hidaayah by Allah (Teala). I wish you hold this religion. advices1, advices2.


Well its different kinds of love. There is the natural love you'd have because they are your parent vs the religious type of love you have for your Muslim brother. I love my mom but that love is different than how I love my Muslim friend vs how I love my other non Muslim friends. The religious love I have for my Muslim friend is a special kind of love like no other and it is for the sake of Allah. He is there for me and I am there for him helping each other strethen are deen and I'm thankful for Allah that I have him. But he isn't like my other friends that I hang out with since our interests are different to say the least so I don't really play with him or hang out with him often. But again our love is different than the love to my family and my nonmuslim friends. So in summary there is natural love and religious love

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