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Background

  • My partner belongs to a Sunni family and i belong to a Shia one.
  • My partner and i know each other from a long time, and we understand and respect each other's point of view.
  • I however, do not follow shia practices like majlis/matam, nazr niyaz etc and do not personally believe in them. To be honest, I do not believe in any sect particular, being neutral on this matter.
  • We both are doing the basics: namaz, roza and zakaat, believe that Allah is one and Muhammad PBUH is his prophet.
  • My parents and family have no objection to this marriage. In fact are extremely happy that my lady is religious and a muslim.
  • Also I do not live my parents and have confirmed with them that they will not force my partner to follow Shia practices, in case they decide to move in with us.(Plus I know their nature too :) )

Issues

Recently our marriage talks have come into some trouble and would like to request some clarification on the same:

  1. The lady's father(a very nice and pious man), is against this marriage and believes that Shias are not muslims. Is this correct ? If not can you give us credible references so that we could put these forward to him?

  2. My lady has no issues with my background nor do I have issues with her remaining a Sunni and our children being Sunni. Having lived with Sunnis my entire adult life, have no issues with the Sunni school of thought. Can there be an Islam approved contract that I can write this on, so that my in-laws would trust me with this ?

  3. My lady is very tensed and her career and health is suffering adversely because of this. Also the issue has caused a rift within my lady's family and we feel guilty about the same. How can we convince them that this would be a legal Muslim marriage? Any credible references would be welcome.

  4. I am even willing to be a Sunni, if that technicality solves the issue, however the objection from my in-laws' family is that if I can leave Shia sect, I could leave my lady too. But i am not willing to leave Islam and leaving Shia sect (that i don't practice fully, as stated earlier). However we strongly feel that as long as we remain in Islam things should be valid. Could me being a Sunni solve this issue?

In case you are a Sunni scholar or know someone who is one, can you please directly help us to reach you. It would be a huge help. Thanks in advance.

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Ask yourself this - Were Prophets Abraham, Moses, Jesus or Muhammad (Peace be upon all of them) part of any sect?

As long as both families believe in the oneness of Allah SWT and that Prophet Muhammad PBUH is his messenger, you are Muslim and nothing forbids one believer from marrying another.

You should review these verses of the Quran:

[6:159] Those who divide themselves into sects do not belong with you. Their judgment rests with GOD, then He will inform them of everything they had done.

[3:103] And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided

[42:14] And they did not become divided until after knowledge had come to them - out of jealous animosity between themselves

Do not invite the wrath of Allah by identifying yourself with any particular sect. We are all Muslim - those who submit our will to Allah SWT, and that's how we should identify ourselves when asked.

And Allah knows best!

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  • Awesome answer, not too short, not too long, comprehensive enough and straight to the point.
    – the kamilz
    Jul 5, 2018 at 9:29
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I wanted to add a comment but couldn't so I will just leave it as an answer.

Look, brother scholars haven't deemed that marriage haraam but rather Unapproved coz they say the two spouses will definitely have discussions and disagreements over certain points which should lead to unrest and consequently a failed marriage. But as you mentioned since you are not very commited to the Shia approach and are open to the sunni one then that would make things easier and smoother for you two. Marriage essentially revolves around understanding, sharing and acceptance and as long as you too come in terms together and genuinely love and accept each other then I see no problem in you two getting married.

And concerning you future father_in_law I suggest you show him how much of a Muslim you are and try to get him to understand that Shias are Muslims too who worship the same God, honour the same prophet and commit to praying, zakkah, haj and fasting just like sunnis. Try to focus on the common stuff and not the differences. Give him proof that you are Muslim too from history, previous fatwas and mindful discussion and try to show him your deep love for his daughter. I hope Allah will open his heart to accepting you marriage to his daughter.

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