I am a devout Muslimah who prays five times a day but the fact my husband will have Hoor al ayn makes me nervous and uncomfortable. It is affecting my relationship with Allah and I don't feel that much desire for Jannah. How can I accept the fact my husband gets Hoor al Ayn without it making me nervous or have a grudge?
There will be no grudges or ill-feelings in Paradise
Allah informs us that the inhabitants of Paradise will be in a state of peace and tranquility, such that there will be no grudges, envy or hatred between any two of them.
(وَنَزَعْنَا مَا فِي صُدُورِهِمْ مِنْ غِلٍّ إِخْوَانًا عَلَىٰ سُرُرٍ مُتَقَابِلِينَ) [Surat Al-Hijr 47]
And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other.
So although this feeling of jealousy (which is totally natural and not something blameworthy) is present in this life, it will not be present in the next life for the people of Paradise.