NewMuslims.com lists five qualities Muslim men should look for when seeking a wife: 1. Taqwa (piety), 2. Affectionate nature, 3. Obedience, 4. Patience, 5. Contentment.

If a Muslim woman was interested in a particular man becoming her future husband, it would therefore be good for her to demonstrate these qualities to him. It seems difficult to demonstrate a willingness to become an obedient wife, however.

Question: How can a Muslim woman indicate her willingness to be an obedient wife to a prospective husband?

My impression is that Muslim men seem to value obedience. RomanticMuslim.com 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Won’t Tell You writes "above all, he desires your respect" and even quotes Qur'an 3:43 "...So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard...".

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    He has to ask...she has to reply and speak her mind. Perhaps asking some specific questions like what would do if I said X...and she reply I would do Y...
    – Thaqalain
    May 3, 2017 at 0:37

1 Answer 1


She can either express her willingness to be an obedient wife verbally and explicitly, or demonstrate it through her actions during the courtship period; different ways she can demonstrate this:

  • Genuinely respect him.
  • Defer decision-making to him (however trivial the decision); don't tell him what to do, let him make the decisions.
  • Don’t criticize his decisions.
  • Show him that he has your full trust and support, even when you don’t agree with him.

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