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I am a Muslimah and. I understand that men are different from women and that we have different needs along with that Polygamy is legal. I accept what Allah decrees is best for us, male or female, but how do I accept or not feel jealous if I find myself in a plural marriage?

What are the benefits for women?

Is it that I have more time to relax and have less pressure on me? I can have more time maybe starting my own business or reading Quran and having more free time to myself?

How do I not feel jealous?

closed as primarily opinion-based by UmH, III-AK-III, goldPseudo Apr 12 '18 at 18:08

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    Is the question: What are the benefits for women? Or is the question: What are the benefits for the women other than the latest wife? The second, third, or fourth wives are women, who benefit by having a marriage, family and children, etc. – III-AK-III Apr 27 '17 at 4:08
  • Seeing spending time with your husband as "pressure" looks like a bad way to start a marriage. If you want free time, you can also not marry at all – user5751924 May 3 '17 at 3:23
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What are the benefits? It depends on woman and as well who she got married to and to great extend other wives. In some culture, first wife demands that she will select second wife, just to make sure the coming wife is someone she already knew and will not compete with her or ruin her position. Allah (sw), even though He allowed polygamy, has warned men about it and assure them that it is not easy to be fair. Most muslim men does not enter in to polygamy wholeheartedly, it is usually through an obligation or situation. Of course, I am talking about true men, who take their responsibility seriously, since in Islam, it is upon man to provide for his wives, and thus he get wear out quickly unless he is wealthy and have means and time to support a huge family.

I have seen ugly side of polygamy, where men cheat on their wives and a wife finds out later that she is sharing her husband with another woman. It is heart breaking situation and men usually get off the hook by pointing out that Allah (sw) has granted them permission to have upto 4 wives. In such situation woman felt down by religion and as well by her husband and live a bitter life or very rarely divorce and remarry with someone more honest.

In my view, people do not go in to polygamy seeking benefit but rather as a resort to fullfil their lustful desires (since Islam does not allow adultory), or to help someone in dire situation (either lost husband, less men due to war or feminine) or difficult to say "No" to someone who want to marry him (friend, someone whoem he is in debt of gratitude, or elders who insists), or for noble cause (spread education/spiritual sciences).

The last case I mentioned is interesting. A great saint, I read, did not marry until he was 50. He spend all his youth in studying and meditating. At age 50, after he attend the spiritual station, he married more then one wife, had many children, and educated them. Later among his kids, many saints and learned people came.

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Polygamy is not an inherent need that all men have. Most men are perfectly satisfied with just one woman.

That said, polygamy in certain cases may be beneficial for the society as a whole. For example if there is a society with five times female population than male and polygamy might be an option to provide each woman with family, support and procreation.

However I believe that the right to engage in polygamy and the number of wives permissible is the purview of the government and is not universally same for all places.

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