In my experience, spending enough time with someone inevitably leads to disagreements, and even squabbles ("a noisy quarrel about something petty or trivial"). The Prophet Muhammad had eleven (and possibly more) wives. I'm wondering if the Prophet and his wives were recorded as getting into squabbles.

Question: Did the Prophet and his wives get into domestic squabbles?

It might be that his wives got into squabbles with the Prophet, but these arguments weren't recorded, perhaps because they were kept private, or perhaps not to embarrass Islam.

It might alternatively be that they didn't get into squabbles with the Prophet; that they were in control of their emotions, and that might be part of being a wife of the Prophet. Or maybe it's just so bad to squabble with the Prophet, that it didn't happen.

1 Answer 1


The wives of the Prophet, like the first Muslim community, like any Muslim ... had immense respect for the Prophet's position and didn't raise their voices against him in a hostile manner.

Quran 49:2 O you who have believed, do not raise your voices above the voice of the Prophet or be loud to him in speech like the loudness of some of you to others, lest your deeds become worthless while you perceive not.

They were however human and arguments did occur, being documented in this lengthy Hadith by Umar ibn Khatab:

Narrated from Ibn Abbas in Saheeh Bukhari:

I had been eager to ask Umar bin Al-Khattab about the two ladies from among the wives of the Prophet regarding whom Allah said 'If you two (wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) namely Aisha and Hafsa) turn in repentance to Allah, your hearts are indeed so inclined (to oppose what the Prophet (ﷺ) likes). (66.4) till Umar performed the Hajj and I too, performed the Hajj along with him. (On the way) Umar went aside to answer the call of nature, and I also went aside along with him carrying a tumbler full of water, and when `Umar had finished answering the call of nature, I poured water over his hands and he performed the ablution.

Then I said to him, "O chief of the Believers! Who were the two ladies from among the wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) regarding whom Allah said: 'If you two (wives of the Prophet) turn in repentance to Allah your hearts are indeed so inclined (to oppose what the Prophet (ﷺ) likes)?" (66.4) He said, "I am astonished at your question, O Ibn Abbas. They were Aisha and Hafsa."

Then Umar went on narrating the Hadith and said, "I and an Ansari neighbor of mine from Bani Umaiyya bin Zaid who used to live in Awali-al-Medina, used to visit the Prophet (ﷺ) in turn. He used to go one day and I another day. When I went, I would bring him the news of what had happened that day regarding the Divine Inspiration and other things, and when he went, he used to do the same for me.

We, the people of Quraish used to have the upper hand over our wives, but when we came to the Ansar, we found that their women had the upper hand over their men, so our women also started learning the ways of the Ansari women. I shouted at my wife and she retorted against me and I disliked that she should answer me back. She said to me, 'Why are you so surprised at my answering you back? By Allah, the wives of the Prophet answer him back and some of them may leave (does not speak to) him throughout the day till the night.'

The (talk) scared me and I said to her, 'Whoever has done so will be ruined!' Then I proceeded after dressing myself, and entered upon Hafsa and said to her, 'Does anyone of you keep the Prophet (ﷺ) angry till night?' She said, 'Yes.' I said, 'You are a ruined losing person! Don't you fear that Allah may get angry for the anger of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and thus you will be ruined? So do not ask more from the Prophet (ﷺ) and do not answer him back and do not give up talking to him. Ask me whatever you need and do not be tempted to imitate your neighbor (i.e., Aisha) in her manners for she is more charming than you and more beloved to the Prophet (ﷺ) ."

Umar added,"At that time a talk was circulating among us that (the tribe of) Ghassan were preparing their horses to invade us. My Ansari companion, on the day of his turn, went (to the town) and returned to us at night and knocked at my door violently and asked if I was there. I became horrified and came out to him. He said, 'Today a great thing has happened.' I asked, 'What is it? Have (the people of) Ghassan come?' He said, 'No, but (What has happened) is greater and more horrifying than that: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ); has divorced his wives.

Umar added, "The Prophet (ﷺ) kept away from his wives and I said "Hafsa is a ruined loser.' I had already thought that most probably this (divorce) would happen in the near future. So I dressed myself and offered the morning prayer with the Prophet (ﷺ) and then the Prophet; entered an upper room and stayed there in seclusion. I entered upon Hafsa and saw her weeping. I asked, 'What makes you weep? Did I not warn you about that? Did the Prophet (ﷺ) divorce you all?' She said, 'I do not know. There he is retired alone in the upper room.'

I came out and sat near the pulpit and saw a group of people sitting around it and some of them were weeping. I sat with them for a while but could not endure the situation, so I went to the upper room where the Prophet; was and said to a black slave of his, 'Will you get the permission (of the Prophet (ﷺ) ) for Umar (to enter)?' The slave went in, talked to the Prophet (ﷺ) about it and then returned saying, 'I have spoken to the Prophet (ﷺ) and mentioned you but he kept quiet.' Then I returned and sat with the group of people sitting near the pulpit. but I could not bear the situation and once again I said to the slave, 'Will you get the permission for Umar?' He went in and returned saying, 'I mentioned you to him but he kept quiet.' So I returned again and sat with the group of people sitting near the pulpit, but I could not bear the situation, and so I went to the slave and said, 'Will you get the permission for Umar?' He went in and returned to me saying, 'I mentioned you to him but he kept quiet.' When I was leaving, behold! The slave called me, saying, 'The Prophet (ﷺ) has given you permission.'

Then I entered upon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and saw him Lying on a bed made of stalks of date palm leaves and there was no bedding between it and him. The stalks left marks on his side and he was leaning on a leather pillow stuffed with date-palm fires. I greeted him and while still standing I said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Have you divorced your wives?' He looked at me and said, 'No.' I said, 'Allah Akbar!' And then, while still standing, I said chatting, 'Will you heed what I say, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)? We, the people of Quraish used to have power over our women, but when we arrived at Medina we found that the men (here) were overpowered by their women.' The Prophet (ﷺ) smiled and then I said to him, 'Will you heed what I say, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)? I entered upon Hafsa and said to her, "Do not be tempted to imitate your companion (Aisha), for she is more charming than you and more beloved to the Prophet.' " The Prophet (ﷺ) smiled for a second time. When I saw him smiling, I sat down. Then I looked around his house, and by Allah, I could not see anything of importance in his house except three hides, so I said, 'O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Invoke Allah to make your followers rich, for the Persians and the Romans have been made prosperous and they have been given (the pleasures of the world), although they do not worship Allah.'

Thereupon the Prophet (ﷺ) sat up as he was reclining. and said, 'Are you of such an opinion, O the son of Al-Khattab? These are the people who have received the rewards for their good deeds in this world.' I said, 'O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Ask Allah to forgive me.'

Then the Prophet (ﷺ) kept away from his wives for twenty-nine days because of the story which Hafsa had disclosed to Aisha. The Prophet (ﷺ) had said, 'I will not enter upon them (my wives) for one month,' because of his anger towards them, when Allah had admonished him. So, when twenty nine days had passed, the Prophet (ﷺ) first entered upon Aisha. Aisha said to him, 'O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! You had sworn that you would not enter upon us for one month, but now only twenty-nine days have passed, for I have been counting them one by one.' The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'The (present) month is of twenty nine days.' Aisha added, 'Then Allah revealed the Verses of the option. (2) And out of all his-wives he asked me first, and I chose him.' Then he gave option to his other wives and they said what Aisha had said . " (1) The Prophet, ' had decided to abstain from eating a certain kind of food because of a certain event, so Allah blamed him for doing so. Some of his wives were the cause of him taking that decision, therefore he deserted them for one month. See Qur'an: (66.4)

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