5

In many places in the world, same-sex marriage is becoming legal and recognized.

Same-sex marriage, also known as gay marriage, is marriage between people of the same sex, either as a secular civil ceremony or in a religious setting.

With this growing trend, it's becoming increasingly possible that someone in a same-sex marriage could convert to Islam.

Question: If someone in a same-sex marriage converts to Islam, what do they need to do?

(Or, in other words, what is the roadmap in going from "non-Muslim in same-sex marriage" to "good Muslim"?)

Perhaps getting a (legal) divorce would be required, but this strikes me as unwelcoming and may deter people from accepting Allah in their life (which is of far greater importance). Islam is also against severing ties of kinship. Converts are generally considered to have their past sins erased, and I'm unsure how this enters the picture.

For those who end up getting a divorce, divorces are not instantaneous, so, for a period of time, the person would be Muslim and in a same-sex marriage. Then there are matters of tawba (repentance) to consider. Moreover, this legal marriage would interfere if that person wished to seek an opposite-sex marriage.

(I understand some people have strong opinions on this matter; let's keep this civil please.)

  • 1
    "Perhaps getting a (legal) divorce would be required, but this strikes me as unwelcoming and may deter people from accepting Allah in their life (which is of far greater importance)." Converts have to stop drinking alcohol, gambling, relying on interest (e.g. mortgages), hugging their lifelong friends of the opposite sex, or running a tattoo parlor. Some say instead of not converting, it is better to convert to Islam and continue living a sinful life - which is clearly a sound position - but the verdict is very clear: gay sex is a major sin, gay marriage invalid in Islam. What is the question? – G. Bach Jan 14 '17 at 4:14
  • Dont mean to be rude here but we should seek knowledge that benefits us somehow.. "O Allah, I seek refuge in You from knowledge which does not benefit." There are all kinds of hypothetical situations we can come up with. "What if a hermaphrodite married another hermaphrodite? Who would give dowry to whom?" Instead we should enrich ourselves through Islam and follow the religious rulings that will bring us closer to Allah. – hamobi Jan 14 '17 at 8:16
  • 1
    @hamobi This isn't a Muslim site, it's a site about Islam. While "don't think about this if you aren't in that situation" may or may not be satisfactory for a Muslim, it does nothing to answer the question. – G. Bach Jan 14 '17 at 18:40
3

That marriage is not valid according to Islam. So if one or both of them converts to Islam, the first thing they need to do is to break their haram union, and separate from each other immediately and repent to Allah SWT for the past sins. Allah is all forgiving.

1

Friendships are encouraged between humans no matter what their religion is, expect if that person is wicked. (Even if it weren't about religion, distancing yourself from a destructive person is a smart life decision.)

But to come back to your question, I think that the first step for this person to take would be to stop engaging sexually with his partner.

The next step would be to learn more about Islam.

The steps after that are going to be revealed to that person, between himself and Allah.

-1

I will give several points. Stitching them together is a bit difficult but I'm sure you'll understand.

Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? https://quran.com/29:2

Having a healthy body is not easy. Neither is having a healthy spirit. But are they worth it? HELL YES!

So if this person wants heaven and knows of it then he should put it away. If he doesn't want heaven then well he can do what he wants.


Something that we can learn from the prophet's mission was that he did things in steps the revelation of Quran to him happened twice. Once all at once, then another gradually. It was gradually revealed because it was in relation to the every day of the prophet and the ummah. The prophet didn't come to people and say here is a list of 2000 items of Do's and Dont's. Take for example the issue of drinking wine. In his revelations it was that first said

And from the fruits of the palm trees and grapevines you take intoxicant and good provision. Indeed in that is a sign for a people who reason.https://quran.com/16/67

The 'grapevines—you take intoxicant' is deemed as against good provision. That's all that the Quran wants to tell you.

They ask you about wine and gambling. Say, "In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people. But their sin is greater than their benefit." And they ask you what they should spend. Say, "The excess [beyond needs]." Thus Allah makes clear to you the verses [of revelation] that you might give thought. https://quran.com/2:219

It's cons outweighs its benefits

O you who have believed, do not approach prayer while you are intoxicated until you know what you are saying... https://quran.com/4:43

The effect of this verse at its time was that many people stopped drinking.

O you who have believed, indeed, intoxicants, gambling, [sacrificing on] stone alters [to other than Allah ], and divining arrows are but defilement from the work of Satan, so avoid it that you may be successful. https://quran.com/5/90

Some were still drinking but when this last and final word of Quran...every true believing Muslim stopped drinking after that.

This last verse was revealed 17 years after the prophet's first revelation.

That's a lot of years for a society.

Having that said I don't think it would take one 17 years to understand and accept that homosexuality is bad. Likely they know it's somewhat bad. Many times the moment you put something away you start telling yourself why did I even do that.


Perhaps informing the person of why it's bad would help. I mean don't dump them with verses. Enlight their wisdom. Some logical reasons:

  • A child will have a real father/mother with a fake mother/father with a real biological mother/father that has nothing to do with the child. Blood is thicker is than water. Logically one always has more ties to what is their blood.
  • Inheritance will become really messed up. A child can rightfully claim that he/she is the child of someone by birth or that parent could leave inheritance for the child he only was a biological parent.
  • Our reproduction rate will drop. It’s just abnormal. Two people from the same sex can’t get pregnant. In the long run this is against our own selves.
  • I have seen orphans go nuts to find their biological parent. One said: it would have been great to be able to look around and see people who look like yourself, but in my family no one looks like me. Such a need isn’t fully addressed for children of gay marriage. Others who have actually had legal parents to look after, still go on missions to find their biological parent. I am sure you have heard some of these stories. Even sometimes the biological parent goes on a mission trying to hir child. Surely heterosexuals can also adopt, yet they can have true childs of their own. With homosexuals it starts with a 50% loss. It’s a loss for the nonbiological partner and a loss for the child.
  • There are many many extra health concerns for homosexuality. See Medical consequences of homosexual sexual behaviors you can google for ‘homosexuality health concerns and you will find more
  • There are many more mental issues for the couple themselves and behavioral issues for children that didn’t have a parent from the other sex. You can also google this
  • For those who say it’s natural, yes many things become natural once you mistreat the natural way of your body/soul. Crack, meth become natural to your body once you get addicted to it. You know what's natural nowadays? Couples sleeping with anyone, people going to swinging clubs. SubhanAllah!!! If you leave this door open, there is NO end to it.

  • To conclude: the logic behind homosexuality is we agree to do it then the rest are to shut up. But there mental and health side effects for the couple and huge side effects for the child. Unless the 2.0 version of family requires to have no child. I am sure people would argue there are many healthy families and couples. Yes there is. But just because a family can endure such doesn’t mean it’s a recommended way of living. Humans can endure many other things as well

Now here's the problem. There are people who pray, go to pilgrimes and then drink wine etc. We live in terrible times. They say holding to your religion at this era is harder than holding onto fire in your hand.

Don't want more to digress more that I've already done, but the other day you asked about a woman buying coffee for a man. That's not haram. It will never become haram. The man not buying is not haram either. Staying in a non-haram zone has many lanes to drive. Yet its lanes are predefined and finite. Switching from the far left lane to the far right or vice versa is not haram. Homosexuality is out of all the numerous lanes Islam has, therefore haram. 😉

Just like any convert give them time to adapt. Explain to them the ramifications and explain to them was Islam is. If they chose to accept then so be it. If not then so be it. Islam lanes won't expand.

  • 1
    Regarding the claims about homosexuality being unhealthy per se (as opposed to causing problems solely because it is stigmatized so heavily), the people on health.se might be able to dispel some of your misconceptions. – G. Bach Jan 14 '17 at 20:16
  • @G.Bac all I'm trying to say is, there ARE academic researches conducted that point to defects in homosexuality. I'm sure that there are other researches which approve homosexuality...so be it. Neither of us are experts in that field. Here the assumption is that it's not accepted and so I pointed out on how one can discuss this with a convert. Also, does that mean the other points I made were OK with you? Because you didn't saying anything about them? – Honey Jan 14 '17 at 20:20
  • As far as I can tell, the other points relayed the dominant Islamic position, although it is unrelated to the question. – G. Bach Jan 14 '17 at 20:30

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.