I am 28 years old and doing a job in a multinational company. By the grace of Allah I'm now in a suitable position to think of marriage, and I have committed myself to a girl to marry.

Due to my father's illness, our guardian is our elder brother.

My father has been paralysed for 20 years, and is living outside the country with his family. Last time he visited us, I told him about the girl whom I committed to. He met the girl and said he liked her.

My mother is unable to give any decision without my brother's permission. But my vabi (brother's wife) did not agree on this matter. She thinks after 1 year when I'll be better prepared.

On the other side the girl's family is unable to wait longer, because they have waited long enough for my family's decision. In that case her father looking for another man to marry her, but she refused. She also tried to negotiate with my family, but my elder brother disagrees with this.

In this case what can I do? I have few days left to take decision.

  • but consent of your relatives is not required in islam laws! why you are so much careful about it if you have appropriate job?! are not you trolling?! does your brother much depend on his wife's opinion?
    – qdinar
    Jan 4, 2017 at 9:30
  • i understand, there is also counciling is ordered by god or by muhammad...
    – qdinar
    Jan 4, 2017 at 9:40
  • 1
    I think what to do is a off topic question. Because what to do and the situation doesn't have to be related to islam itself. I.e the problem could be cultural.
    – Kilise
    Jan 4, 2017 at 16:26
  • This question should also be marked as duplicate as the basic question do a man need consent of his relatives has been asked and answered several times.
    – Medi1Saif
    Jan 6, 2017 at 11:08

2 Answers 2


In Islam, a man doesn't need to get permission from his wali to marry. Therefore, you don't need your relatives permission to marry her. But the permission of her wali is required. For more details, refer to the following fatwa:

It is permissible for a man to get married without his parents’ agreement, unlike a woman, for whose marriage to be valid it is essential that her wali (guardian) agrees. But it is part of honouring one’s parents and treating them kindly to ask for their permission and seek their approval, because that is more likely to keep relationships with them harmonious.



ask for arguments your brother and his wife use, and try to disprove that arguments, and try to tell to your mother, in front of them, so that it is not ghaybah (backbiting), (tell to your mother) what arguments they use.

and you can marry without consent of your mother and brother. you can tell to them that their consent is not required for you in islam law. you should wheigh/evaluate/think over of consequences of disagreement of mother and brother and his wife, and consequences of disagreement of your bride and take decision.

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