About a month ago me and my husband got married The point is that he didn't pay me mahr yet. He proposed the amount of money by himself (of course I agreed). Until now, I haven't heard about paying me any money. Is our marriage still valid?
Basically it is permissible for the mahr to be given immediately -at the 'aqd of nikah- or delayed, or some of it may be given immediately and some of it may be delayed, according to whatever is agreed upon by the spouses with some certain differences of opinion among the schools of jurisprudence. But in general there's nothing wrong with that.
The hanbali scholar ibn Quddamah said in his al-Mughni:
It is permissible for the dowry to be given immediately, or delayed, or some of it may be given immediately and some of it may be delayed, because it is paid in return for something, thus is permissible in this case, like paying a price. End quote.
Al-Mughni, 7/169 (Source: islamqa #131069)
However we must be aware that the sahaba didn't apply the practice of fixing an amount in the marriage contract:
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The Sahaabah did not write down dowries because they did not get married on the basis of a delayed dowry; rather they paid the mahr immediately, and even if they delayed it, the amount was known. When people began to get married on the basis of a delayed dowry, and a long time would pass and it would be forgotten, they began to write down the delayed portion and that became evidence to prove the dowry and that she was his wife. End quote.
Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 32/131 (Source: islamqa #131069 )
Any agreement between spouse can be considered as valid and a duty or contract as Allah() says:
O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts. ... (5:1)
and a good Muslim should fulfil his agreements and conditions of a marriage contract based on:
"Reconciliation is allowed among the Muslims, except for reconciliation that makes the lawful unlawful, or the unlawful lawful. And the Muslims will be held to their conditions, except the conditions that make the lawful unlawful, or the unlawful lawful."
(Jami' at-Trimidhi and with a different wording in sunan abi Dawod)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "The stipulations most entitled to be abided by are those with which you are given the right to enjoy the (women's) private parts (i.e. the stipulations of the marriage contract).
(Sahih al-Bukhari and sahih Muslim)
In fact paying the mahr (or sadaaq) becomes a due at the moment husband and wife are alone or the marriage was consummated (Due to 2:236). Read for example in al-Mawsu'a al-Fiqhiyya الموسوعة الفقهية:
والمهر ليس شرطاً في عقد الزواج ولا ركنا عند جمهور الفقهاء، وإنما هو أثر من آثاره المترتبة عليه، فإذا تم العقد بدون ذكر مهر صح باتفاق الجمهور، قال الله تعالى: لاَّ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِن طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاء مَا لَمْ تَمَسُّوهُنُّ أَوْ تَفْرِضُواْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً ـ
فإباحة الطلاق قبل المسيس وقبل فرض صداق يدل على جواز عدم تسمية المهر في العقد
(My own translation take it with care)
Mahr is not a condition for the validity of a 'aqd of nikah nor is it a pillar in the view of the majority of scholars, but it is (a trace or) a result of its results of it, so if a 'aqd has been made without quoting a mahr it is valid as per the view of the majority, as Allah the Almighty says: "There is no blame upon you if you divorce women you have not touched nor specified for them an obligation.
therefore the permission for talaq before consummation of the marriage and before obligating the mahr (or sadaaq) is an evidence that it is allowed not to name or quote a mahr at the 'aqd an-Nikah.
But even if the mahr is not a condition for the validity of a marriage it is a clear right of the wife, which nobody can reject or hinder her from. And it is her right to ask for it and only she can refuse to take it or take parts of it based on:
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease. (4:4)
The Malikis said if the mahr is present and of material kind like a house, a tissue or an animal (horses, camels) (money is not considered among these kinds as it belongs to things one may need to wait for if we consider that money was basically a win or gain of trading activities) its not allowed to delay paying it, they also consider delaying it in the contract in this case as invalid even if the future wife agrees unless the delay is of a couple of days.
However delaying to pay the mahr has two conditions: the duration of delay shouldn't be too long (like after 50 years) and the duration should be rather known (one shouldn't wait until his death).
From all this above you should know that
- your marriage is valid,
- you have the right to ask for your mahr and ask for the deadline for paying it
- and you have the right to know the amount of your mahr too.
My other sources in Arabic: