I fear committing zina. I had a love and I was heartbroken because I did not even talk to him to avoid zina, but I ended up committing it. I was mentally ill at that time and I am a female so it is presumably forgiven. Soon after committing, I did Tawana but now men harass me as I am of a maturer age now and I fear I will commit it again too. It is said that tawbah is accepted only once and I am religious so I don't want to be deprived of Paradise. Second I have also read that Allah does not forgive until repentance is done in front of everyone. How should I do tawbah? I want Paradise badly.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse ___ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.
The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;
Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance”
it is said that when a person feels unhappy about the sin, it is the sign of a believer.
You can see, there is true repentance at the end of verse.True repentance means that you should use that unhappiness in your heart and ask for forgiveness and make a commitment in your heart that you will never ever do it again.
Tears mean a lot, When they are from a true heart.
In Quran, Allah clearly says that he has promised to forgive man if he repents sincerely and promises not to repeat it.
Try your best. If you fail, repent again and take a resolution of never repeating it.
Even if you fail 100 times, but your intention was sincere repentance with a resolve of never repeating it, Allah promises to forgive you.
All deeds are judged on the basis of intention. Niya'at is very important.