I've been having some big doubts about Islam.
I have for less than 6 months been trying to establish prayers. At the same time I thought it would be easier for me to maintain Salah while increasing my knowledge.
Before I got in searching for knowledge I was happy, with no doubts and actively praying in the fixed times; now I pray only Asr and Isha. Even though I didn't had many much knowledge, I was sinful and happy about praying no matter my condition.
I find so many prohibited things which should be outright avoided, and some of them seems to taken so lightly it's ridiculous. E.g. listening to music is a major sin, and some of the scholars have said that the one who enjoys it becomes kaffir.
The punishments of fornication and adultery are so harsh and painful.
I found myself in the position of Ebu Hurejra who asked Muhammed a.s :
'I'm a young boy and can not afford to get married, also I'm afraid of falling in immorality (Zina)' Muhammed a.s didn't replied till he was asked for the firth or the fourth time and he a.s replied to Ebu H. 'Pen is raised and ink is dried. Whether you leave it or not you have to face your fate (Qadr)
If our deeds (actions) were decreed (written) on our mother's wombs why should we be questioned, judged and punished for them?
When Musa a.s argued with Adam blaming him for outcasted us from Jannah, Adam said to him:
'Are you blaiming me for a deed Allah decreed for me 40 years ago before I took action'
Does free will really exist? Or is our 'freewill' already programmed in details like, every breath, heartbeat, thoughts, seeing, eating, taking actions
How can the human race be here today when Adam a.s and Huwa had two children (boys)? Even if they had other kids (females) which Qur'an doesn't attest to, isn't it crazy that we all are product of incest? Why is Zina so strictly prohibited and harsh punished if we are all the product of incest?
What about Muhammed a.s married Aisha at age 6 and consumed marriage at the age of 9? Does a female hits puberty by that age so we can justify the consuming of marriage?
It makes me wonder if does religion has all the answers? I don't want to believe it, but I know I'm having crisis of faith. I'm not able to smile more even though I pray which before I had so much happiness in me.