My answer to What to do if the husband wants oral sex but the wife thinks it's haraam? made me think about how Muslim spouses can have an adventurous sex life without resorting to I'm-uncertain-if-this-is-halal acts.

Question: How can adventurous Muslim spouses spice up their sex life?

I often see claims like the following online:

Sexual exploration is an open field- I mean a huge open field... -- Spice up your sex life- it's all halal!

followed by a mix of obvious and/or yawn-worthy suggestions. There's claims around that Muslim spouses are able to be wild in the bedroom, yet many things seem forbidden: masturbation, anal sex, pornography, open relationships, etc.

Some off-the-top-of-my-head ideas would be: rubbing ice on each others bodies, feeding each other, wearing sexualized clothes and costumes, role playing ("I am a mighty warlord, and we have just taken your village...").

I'm seeking something more comprehensive and general than "a bunch of random ideas I thought of". And, ideally, some method for determining the haram/halal status on the fly ("...hold on honey, I'm just Googling fatawa..." is not sexy).

  • 1
    Honestly speaking those who declared oral-sex as haram have no clear backup in Quran nor sunnah. But build their fatwas up on what they call purity, good manner, good taste etc.. There are no real limits based on the Quran for sexual pleasure between the spouses as verse 2:223 legacy.quran.com/2/223 says. However there are strong evidences that anal-sex is haram. But that is all one could really say without much interpretation or (wrong) ijtihad to make something which is supposed to be halal haram. Of course the point which is debatable is related to "ejaculation".
    – Medi1Saif
    Nov 18, 2016 at 7:41
  • About the link you've posted it's nowhere said that the Prophet owned a bathtub, but that he used to bath beside or with his wife (and I don't recall that this was narrated about 'Aisha)! This doesn't mean that the rest of that is acceptable.
    – Medi1Saif
    Nov 18, 2016 at 11:20
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    "And, ideally, some method for determining the haram/halal status on the fly" Haram in sex should be covered by anal, najasa entering the mouth, risk of being seen, seeing the awra of someone who is not your spouse, masturbating yourself (stimulating your partner is fine), and I think insertive toys are haram too. Some scholars consider pain haram, no matter consent, so BDSM might be out. What might be more difficult is to figure out interesting things to do while avoiding haram since most educational material about sexual pleasure is bound to feature some form of erotic art/pornography.
    – G. Bach
    Nov 18, 2016 at 11:50

1 Answer 1


There are 2 books written by Irfan Ullah Khan that deal with the matters related to sexual life in the light of Quran and Sunnah. Here are the 2 books:

  1. The Halal Sex Guide: https://happymuslimfamily.org/halal-sex-guide/

  2. Better Love with Better Half: https://happymuslimfamily.org/better-love-with-better-half/

The book "The Halal Sex Guide" discusses how to spice up the sex life from the practical point of view, whereas "Better Love with Better Half" deals mostly with sharai matters and fiqh opinions though it also has some chapters on tips and techniques.

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