1

I used to communicate with my wife on Whatsapp and other platforms. She is my wife but I have done only Nikkah with her, she is my wife according to Islam but rukhsati (she did not start living with me yet) not done yet.
We used to talk on text or Whatsapp. She is a Nobel lady and never been into dirty stuff. In our early communication we never started discussion on intimacy or sexual stuff. But as soon we started, she told me that she never saw porn and dirty stuff and she is not interested.
One day she discussed with me that her friend sent some links and she opened once which was a covered sex and after that some white dirty stuff was shown. It was a YouTube video. Which had discrete sexual scenes.
She trusted me and told me and she said she will avoid all type of such videos again.
Since that day I started feeling bad about her. Like I was broken and I felt like my all pure feelings for her are permanently gone. I started getting whispering or doubts whenever I used to see her picture. I used to see that white dirty stuff whenever I am talking to her.
It came into my dream and disturbed me so much that I lost interest in her. For more than a month I started getting anxiety and depression and at nights I started getting dreams of that dirty video stuff. It disturbed my life so much and now my marriage is just few days left and I still don't feel very good while talking to my wife. She is my good friend and she is mashaaAllah good in all matters.
Are these thoughts are shaitani whispering. Or waswasas?
Or it is like some magic done to me as I feel very strange at some timings in the day. Like depress and lost.

closed as off-topic by nim, Kilise, Medi1Saif, Sassir, goldPseudo Sep 15 '16 at 21:10

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    Change your thoughts, thereby your life will change. Understand why you feel like you feel, then fight it (i.e understand why it shouldn't matter). Understand what makes you think negatively, then ignore with something positive. – Kilise Sep 5 '16 at 21:34
1

Your wife sounds like an amazing woman to me. I encourage you to develop a realistic idea of what a woman is: We're impure. We're imperfect. We sin. And we're still pretty awesome!

A momentary blip like this is nothing, and your description makes it sound like she was innocent too. Think about it: you've made a commitment before Allah. In the next 10-20 years of your lives, you're going to have all sorts of struggles, some of which will be huge, and you are still expected to honor your commitment throughout these struggles. (Do you know what a woman's body goes through during childbirth? Because, wow!)

A man should be his wife’s friend, pleasant and courteous in speech, show her love and affection, and be relaxed and informal when they are alone. He should overlook occasional missteps, forgive mistakes, defend her honor, seldom argue with her, honor her family, continually promise her the best, and have the manly jealousy to keep matters between her and other men from exceeding permissible limits. -- Marriage Advice, Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller

There is a balance between kibr (ego) and gheera (protective jealousy). It's good that you care about your wife's honor and purity, but it sounds like you're taking it to an unnecessary level. You're not married to Mary, mother of Jesus. If you're finding yourself thinking your wife is not good enough for you, that's ego.

(Also, shouldn't you be, like, bonking her senseless right now? I find it hard to believe you'll care about some Internet misclick afterwards.)


In response to your comments about anxiety and depression, there can be medical reasons for these things. Medical treatment extends beyond the scope of this site.

However, you know who you could turn to for help? Your wife!

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.