How can I reassure myself that I have been forgiven after committing a major sin?

Question

A few years back, I committed a major sin (in my case zina) and at that time I didn't even realize I have spoiled myself and my soul.

In last Ramadan, I fasted for whole month and I am little more inclined towards the true faith (unlike my life before) but ever since then it makes me ashamed and hits me like a needle in my body every now and then that I have committed such major sin of committing zina, I find myself apologizing and in repentance from Almighty Allah for what I did but I do not get satisfaction, I feel like I am ruined despite my repentance, I feel like Allah has turned away from me.

Because of this I have committed to myself that I will never commit zina again insha Allah. And I believe Allah is so kind that he will forgive me insha Allah but for whatever reason, this thought that I have once committed zina makes me worried and even cry sometimes about what I did.

I should also mention that I kept myself away from this sin before marriage even though I had perfect opportunities if I wanted to do so but I refrained knowing it was major sin but then I committed this after marriage which makes me even more worried.

How do I get satisfaction in my life now or, how do I know that I have been forgiven?

Answer 1

Allah is the most merciful

There are many verses in the Quran showing us the mercy of Allah. For instance:

39:53
Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."

There are many hadiths about this too: (qudsi hadith)

A servant [of Allah's] committed a sin and said: O Allah, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you. It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari).

Answer 2

And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated -Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful. And he who repents and does righteousness does indeed turn to Allah with [accepted] repentance. 25:68

My answer to you is to trust Allah your creator, trust His words and read the Quran as often as possible, it is a cure for us.

And if We had made it a non-Arabic Qur'an, they would have said, "Why are its verses not explained in detail [in our language]? Is it a foreign [recitation] and an Arab [messenger]?" Say, "It is, for those who believe, a guidance and cure." And those who do not believe - in their ears is deafness, and it is upon them blindness. Those are being called from a distant place. 41:44

Answer 3

Allah's mercy outweighs his wrath

Allah subhana wa-ta'Ala's mercy surpasses his wrath (1), and the way to gain this mercy is to ask for forgiveness. Remember Adam Alay-hi-salām's dua:

رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنْفُسَنَا وَإِنْ لَمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ

“Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.”
— Surah Al A’raf verse 23

It sounds like you genuinely regret your actions which is part of repentance:

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Regret is part of repentance.”

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4252

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

But also know, that the feeling of past sins weighing heavy on you is normal and does not mean Allah has not forgiven you:

Al-Harith ibn Suwaid reported: Abdullah ibn Mas’ud, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Verily, the believer views his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain, fearing it will fall upon him. The wicked views his sins as if they were a fly passing over his nose.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5949

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhari

You will not know in this life if Allah has accepted your repentance, so repenting and keep asking for forgiveness. Allah loves those who are continuously repenting (Quran 2:222), and have trust that you will be forgiven:

It is by Allah’s mercy that you are gentle to them; and had you been harsh and hardhearted, surely they would have scattered from around you. So excuse them, and plead for forgiveness for them, and consult them in the affairs, and once you are resolved, put your trust in Allah. Indeed Allah loves those who trust in Him.
— (Quran 3:159).

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1. Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3194, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2751

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Some text taken from this other answer