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I know a lot of questions are asked about relationships before marriage. Yet my question is somehow different.

We know that Physical Attractiveness plays a very important role in creating a bond between a couple.

The problem is that it's not confined to face only. It embraces all physical attributes of men and women.

Face is something that we see, and it's not strictly prohibited by Islam. Yet other parts, specially reproductive organs are of course in the red zone.

With the spread of external sexual stimuli that needs true matches between men and women to save their marriage and faith through difficult world of Media, how one can make sure that the person he/she is choosing as future spouse is actually physically attractive to him/her?

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  • If we put it simply, you are asking that if by any means, we can allow people to see the "reproductive organs", as you said, to make sure that both like one another's...
    – Zia Ul Rehman
    Commented Aug 18, 2016 at 7:54
  • Note that scholars allow to see the face and hands, some go further in allowing to see the feet and neck or even to see the fiancée without hijab. Ibn Hazm even said if possible one should try to see as much as he can except her 'awrah and can ask a woman to take a look at her and tell him about her body.
    – Medi1Saif ♦
    Commented Aug 18, 2016 at 8:11
  • @Medi1Saif Isn't the awrah of a woman everything except hands and face?
    – G. Bach
    Commented Aug 18, 2016 at 11:33
  • @G.Bach There are many views: The mainline is that hands and face are not 'awrah. Some add feet some legs as there's a difference between the covered (which is needed for prayer) and uncovered (which can be seen by foreigners based on "..except that which appears thereof .." in 24:31) 'awrah and if taken literally al-'Awza'i said a fiancé can see any part which is considered as "flesh" from the body of his fiancée. Ibn Hazm supported this and said he can see anything of her no matter if it is covered or uncovered I'm still trying to understand the 'awrah in his statement in al-muhalla!
    – Medi1Saif ♦
    Commented Aug 18, 2016 at 11:47

2 Answers 2

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May Allah guide us all.

The basis

Physical Attractiveness is not necessarily is the most important factors, as the prophet said, there are several factors, so choose religion before another:

It was narrated from Abdullah bin Amr that:

the Prophet said: “Do not marry women for their beauty for it may lead to their doom. Do not marry them for their wealth, for it may lead them to fall into sin. Rather, marry them for their religion. A black slave woman with piercings who is religious is better.”

It is worth to mention that we should always remember to lower our gaze and do not go beyond aurah that should be covered.

The proposed answer

Although the following is the proposed way for those who took Physical Attractiveness important.

A guy can always ask her 'mahram' (those who can check on his behalf, such as her mother, sister, father or female friends) to check upon his preference.

Personally, I won't go that far. I will feel very ashamed to ask her for personal preference or state any requirements. I just accept and appreciate my partner as well as I am accepting my body god has given me.

Her mahram should not tell you how she look like, nor should one take a picture of her body parts that is haram to reveal to others. But to confirm whether or not does she fit and meet his preference.

The future

Being attractive is beyond physical look. An attractive people are those that keep a healthy life and a healthy relationship.

Islam thought us to lower our gaze. One cannot deny the desire of wanting to try other women if we do not lower our gaze. Even if you have the most beautiful women in the world as your wife. Each women are beautiful, by look and by personality.

No women are desirable when she is not healty.

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  • Of course it's important. I'm a male muslim, and as I live through my day I see ads showing very attractive women, I search for articles related to my job and I see pictures of semi-nude women. I turn on the TV and I see women. It's not the old era in which all you could see in years was the arm of a woman by peeking. Nudism is all around us. As a male muslim, I do need to be satisfied with the body of my future wife, to be able to hold on to my beliefs.
    – Saeed Neamati
    Commented Aug 20, 2016 at 8:18
  • There is no shame in doing whatever it takes to keep your beliefs. That's how I think.
    – Saeed Neamati
    Commented Aug 20, 2016 at 8:20
  • What I mean is, I feel ashamed to even set any requirement to my wife. I accept her as she was.
    – Nik
    Commented Aug 20, 2016 at 10:57
  • I have edit my answer, I am sorry if you have misunderstood it before.
    – Nik
    Commented Aug 20, 2016 at 11:04
  • Mr Saeed, we should always remember to lower our gaze.
    – Nik
    Commented Aug 20, 2016 at 11:14
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Physical attraction is a vital matter of society. We may always trend to talk and sponsor marriage... But what about before marriage, when a boy is getting adult and pass through teenage life having sexual desire in him. Same case also for girl. Their is always a possibility of getting attracted to opposites at this stage.

Actually when we think of modern society, keep away the Islamic law for now... What is fair relationship?? If a person is getting attracted by one's personality or if one is attracted with one's beauty, body shape... Yes of course, we in our conscious mind will choose the first one though our subconsciousness trend to choose the next one. But in wise discussion, we also agree on the point that, beauty with a personality that doesn't match with one's choice should not be get paired, cz it willnot be longer lasting.

Actually, we are living in a society where youth are mostly driven by porn. It is open secret, we all know but can't find a way to get out of it.

Marriage as earlier as possible is a possible solution that I can provide following Shariah.

But if my subconscious mind is always unhappy with what I get!! I mean, body shape, size and stuffs... For this, we need not a society where women will walk on the streets wearing lesser dress... Studying about size, shape may be included academically. But point to be noted that, this study should not be widespread like a study topic in school books or a compulsory subject. It may be a topic of study as a part of counseling the youth...

It should be counseled to provide some idea on that for marriage seeking youths and also should be provided before marriage talk.

But as I mentioned before, size & shape should never be a basis of healthy society let alone an Islamic one...but it need to be matched according to individual's desire for a better purpose. And we can fill-up doubt for getting wrong size, shape by academic study of course (lool).

Again, mixing with girls tendency is not a good practice for Islamic society. But if a girl and boy trend to attract for each other, I think... In a Islamic society, surrounding should be supportive to understand them and support them to turn it into acceptable one for the society... And in a Islamic environment, boys and girls need to be modest enough and also should be courageous enough to talk on their attraction.

I also heard a term "Mutah Marriage". But don't know how much Islamic commentators agree on this solution.

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