My fiancé question me as to whether I have a boyfriend and/or sexual relationship. I told him that I did not have any. But shaitan misguided him and he saw a boy in my Facebook account and thought he was my ex-boyfriend. He texted him and asked him about us, and he told him that there was nothing between us but told him that I once met him.

My fiancé asked me but I claimed that I did not meet him, because I thought of how would he react. But, thank God, that is all settled now and he asked for my forgiveness and after some time I told him that I didn't have any boyfriend but some good guys proposed to me and I checked whether or not they are suitable for me for marriage, but I rejected them.

I didn't tell him that I met two of them (my intentions and their intentions were also pure and we met in public place and did not crossed the limits). But now shaitan is making me feel bad that I lied to him, but I have read that if we didn't any sin, we have to conceal them and Allah also conceals them for us. But I'm feeling bad.

What should I do according to Islam? As it is not a sin to find a suitable partner for oneself and it all happened before him.

  • Please explain your fiancé has asked for your hand or not? If so it is not allowed to any man to ask for your hand unless you separate and dissolve your engagement.
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Aug 10, 2016 at 6:24
  • @Medi1Saif i do not think that mere asking hand counts as engagement. i think engagement is mutual preliminary promise/plan to marry. but, silence of virgin can be counted as (the preliminary) agreement of her...
    – qdinar
    Commented Feb 17, 2023 at 13:43

2 Answers 2


Sin is something which you hate others knowing about it. If you did not sin, you shouldn't be afraid and not lie.

If he understands you, he is mature enough and likely will live with you peacefully. That way you can know that he is a suitable boy for marriage. Else maybe you should move onto next.

Also please remind him about this Ayah,

O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful. (Qur'an 49:12)


Finding a suitable partner is not per se haram or a sin in Islam.
You can even meet if there's a mahram, some may allow to meet in public as long as the conversation is limited to what is allowed to speak about between two foreigners of different genders.

But you must be aware that if you are engaged it isn't allowed to anybody to ask for your hand (See for example sahih Muslim), so if you are engaged with somebody you should reject anybody Else's proposal unless you have separated or dissolved your engagement. So if you met somebody else while engaged that is a "dark grey zone" of halal, as engagement isn't marriage so this can be dissolved any time by both parties without any problems. But if this guy who wanted to ask for your hand knew you were engaged he shouldn't go on and ask for your hand and you shouldn't accept as this would be a sin for him and a help in doing a sin for you. If he didn't know about your engagement he can go ahead.
Read also in sahih Muslim and sahih al-Bukahri.

If you are not engaged than you should tell this person (who seems to be very jealous) that if he really wants to marry you he should ask for your hand. All what you describe seems to show that your fiancé is jealous, which isn't considered as a bad thing in Islam as long as it doesn't go too far in that case one should remind him of the verse quoted by servant-of-wiser!

Any way an engagement can be dissolved and you can do it anytime if you found somebody who is better and more suitable especially if it is somebody who is pious. And note that love is a heart matter... and the feeling of the heart can easily change as it's stated in the hadith.

References (so far in Arabic, some with urdu translation):
Is it allowed for an engaged woman to accept the proposal of a 2nd man?
She wants to dissolve the engagement to get engaged with somebody else
He wants to marry her if she dissolves the engagement with her fiancé.

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