My parents arranged my marriage when I was 15. I came from Pakistan and was very naive and innocent. I lived with my husband for 2 years and was in a very violent relationship. I left him whilst not having much knowledge about Islam as I was only 17 at the time. I didn't see him for two years and didn't know where he was. I remained here as my family didn't want me to return to Pakistan because it would bring shame to family. I applied for civil divorce not knowing that I should have applied for Islamic divorce as well as there was no one to guide me.
Whilst I was still waiting for my civil divorce to come through I met someone who proposed to marry me. I was living on my own in isolation without any family, not able to speak English and no one to guide me. We had our nikah done just before my civil divorce was finalised. It has been a number of years since we have been married. as I went on to study Islam I became more and more conscious about the validity of our nikah. I am not able to sleep and constantly cry over this issue and ask Allah for forgiveness day and night.
I don't know what to do in this situation, where to go. I want to know if this marriage is valid and if not how can we make it valid without going public.